All Comments on 'BDSM: The Nature of Consent'

The problem with rack ( which started on the alt newsgroups in the 90's,TES popularized it),is that it assumes that there is nothing that cannot be consented to and that no one has the right to judge others playing.One of the factors of rack is the dominant knows the risks and how to ameliorate tem,but I have seen plenty of scenes where someone read the gore books and was trying stuff they didn't.have a clue about,like someone using an electro device on the girls tits.....you can do elecyro above the waist but you have to know how to do it...it is why there are dms at play parties.If I saw some dominant using a pes unit where current could floe through the heart,I wouldn't shrug my shoulders.Likewise in a d/s where I felt strongly the dominant had crossed the line to abuse I would move into action,because I believe there are limits to consent,some douchebag that gets his rocks off breaking bones or dislocating joints is not rack,it is pathology,I dont give a shit if the sub claims they consented,at that point the guy is a psycho,not a dom (accidents happen,talking deliberate).I agree it has to be used sparingly,but there is a difference between play and abuse,d/s and pathologically abusive slavery.

Excellent conversation starter. So much 'fantasy' fiction out there now with no or dubious consent and most assuredly lacking in anything resembling informed consent. 'Now that you are immobilized what can my lizard brain think of to do to you! Bwahhaha!' So many people thinking that's how it's done. I've met some of them. SSC helped greatly to form the discussion. RACK clarifies the subject to a much greater degree.

While i agree with njlaurens comments I also think it boils as teh title suggests the nature of consent. There will always be ones who abuse the trust put in them but what i think RACK suggests for the voyeurs as well as the participants is that what is one man kinks is another's limit and we should be respectful of peoples decisions and not be judgmental.

Interesting piece. Clearly thought through. I tend to approach dominant control from an earthier perspective, but conceptually probably machts nichts. Since I am comfortable with my own approach I probably just tend to express it differently. Laugh. The artist just needs to know the canvas and the medium well. Thanks. Well crafted essay on a sweaty subject.

I fully agree with everything you have said njlauren. My intent though was to speak the those of reasonably sound mind not the extremist. I have a friend from this site who believes that anyone involved in a BDSM style relationship is a pathological Sadist or Masochist. In my own way I wrote it as an informative text for that friend to read and reread, as I certainly have my own personal limits as do most life-stylers I know be they Dominant or submissive. My voice was merely to say, that each person has the right to choose those limits for themselves by being well informed and having open discussion with their partner.

About twenty-odd years ago, when my wife and I were experimenting. We briefly explored BDSM groups where we lived at that time and soon realized this was not to our personal tastes. While discussing limits and rules, we were told about a recent occurrence, where an in-experienced, wanna-be dom tried to master an young, in-experienced wanna-be submissive. Causing her severe injuries and trauma. Then the idiot booted her out, ordering her to return in a couple of weeks when she healed up.

In shock, she tried to pretend that she was okay and returned to her job. Her boss noticed her discomfort and saw the wrist markings left by stupid's use of handcuffs. There is a reason police still use metal handcuffs as the markings left are a quick way to tell that someone had been recently arrested.

The girl's boss turned out to be a militant feminist and she dragged the girl to the nearest Women's Clinic. Where the Doctor's quickly determined that the girl was suffering serious internal injuries. Then the boss went ballistic and with her political influence, she got the police involved and toot-sweet, stupid was on his way to jail.

Between vindictive Boss Lady and the outraged members of the local BDSM club, who did not appreciate the attentions of the authorities on their activities, the asshole was whipsawed. He had to pay a huge indemnity to the girl. He lost his professional accreditation. Did some jail time and all in all his life was rendered utterly miserable.

Several years ago, as a widower, I decided to explore the local community's BDSM scene and again realized it disappointed my expectations. The only rule that matter is that money got you any and every perversion you demanded to indulge yourself. Without any responsibility for the damage caused by too much wealth and not enough common sense.

All the self-proclaimed doms and masters I met are narcissist driven perpetual adolescents. All the submissives/slaves are prostitutes of varying gender, Desperate to earn enough to maintain their drug addictions.

I cannot speak about the practices in other communities but out here on the south-left orange coast the BDSM society is just a front for criminal activities.

Also, I must disagree with the term SSC as Safe, Sane, Consensual. I am of the opinion it should better be Safe, Sober, Consensual. Sane is universaly defined as what WE do as compared to what THEY do.

Drug addicts are invariably contending with a number of mental health issues. Which adds prescribed drugs to the sewer of chemicals they already are ingesting.

And the consumption of alcohol with recreational drugs does NOT improve the competency of those abusers of the impoverished who boast of being doms and masters.

Thank you for writing this it made me think a bit... I'm a natural born sub lol I'm still looking for my dom and I'm still a bit inexperienced when it comes to BDSM however I have had a few bad experiences nothing to serious with an x of mine where things got out of hand and turned bad very quickly I wish I could have found this then it could have helped a lot.... It gave me a few things to think about though, thank you for that xxx C

For a person not in the lifestyle it explains a lot.

Yes!! Thank you!! I have been trying to explain to my partner of 2 years (and dominant for a few months) who is new to the lifestyle why I swear by RACK and have for years and prefer RACK-philosophy based clubs over “traditional” SSC. I think I will just send him this - you explained it more succinctly and clearly than I could hope to. Thank you for your accurate and brilliant analysis. SSC is so either “safe! good!” or “unsafe! Bad!” that it stifles any kind of honest conversation. Yes, edgeplay and other dangerous kinks have risks. But just like with teenage sex or drug experimentation or anything else, people are likely going to do it anyway and as two consenting adults they should he able to, so why not make it an open conversation about how we might do these moderately dangerous things as safely as humanely possible. Seems to me that would reduce risk more than just saying “no, that is not sane or safe, you can’t do that” and then someone doing it unsafely or unsupervized/mentored. But what do I know, I’m “only in my early 20’s and haven’t been around long enough to understand ” according to most I talk to regarding SSC/RACK. (Don’t worry, I highly respect and appreciate my mentors, both the Doms and subs who have mentored me. Just teasing). Anyway, thanks again and hope you are well!

I'm pretty sure the vanilla public would not regard most BDSM activities as sane - for me consensual is the main issue, followed by SAFE! There are many BDSM activities that I do not consider safe, in the context that they should cause nothing other than very short term harm - NEVER permanent harm! The Dom has the responsibility here as many submissives will happily consent to unsafe play in the heat of the moment. So far as I am concerned, anything that involves deliberately drawing blood is not safe in any way, shape or form - there are plenty of ways to get your kicks without going to these extremes.

BDSM is a concept that has been developed by and in patriachy. This is just a plain fact and this really says everything about it. It draws narcissists magnetically to it's core like moths to the light.

Thus said I am still into it as I believe in a different kind of BDSM. As with everything else, you need to learn the basics/ rules first and then develope your own. This is called evolution. You have evolution everywhere and BDSM needs to change too. Women are done with sexual harrassement, rape and torture and it's time for the males to aknowledge this.

Interesting. I've been on the RACK side of the fence this whole time without realizing it.

I'm late to the party, but thank you.