This could support a chapter 2 or more but it is OK where it is today. Not all stories have to be epic and this had a good ending.
by
Anonymous03/31/13
Kind of broken plot - why the hell is she apologizing for anything if the last time she was through there the land really had been destroyed? I'm not a greenie and simply loathe some of their more extreme organizations, but that's the problem with big companies and some of the smaller ones too - they think they can slap a fresh coat and a few million dollars of paint on something "cleaned up" when some of the more toxic repercussions really are permanent. I mean, being the activist she is, she has to know that even if Tom is ridiculous enough to front completely dishonest logic like "trusting me means trusting my company" and "I'm just paying you half a million dollars to get your attention, not bribing you". There are things businessmen will do, ways they will treat the world around them, that they would never subject their families or romantic interests to.
Four stars for hot sex and a passable story, but what comes across as cheap rationalizations for corporate irresponsibility makes both characters more sleazy and unlikeable than intended, and makes it less than a five star story.
by
Anonymous03/31/13
Something odd
about the environmentalist driving the Mustang in a max-gas-using manner. And they kinda got the sex before the trust but verify.
Best story I have read in a while. Thanks for sharing.
by
Anonymous04/01/13
I liked it. The only part I didn't like much was Jana's personality at some points of your story. I would have prefered she sounded more like a feisty confident drunk horny woman, instead of a drunk horny man.
I too, hope there will be a second chapter.
TR, another well-crafted story. By now, most regular readers know that I really hate to have to agree with an anonymous commentator critiquing a contributors efforts. This is erotic fiction after all, as in imaginary and made up.
There is little desire among the Literotica readership for uncomfortable facts and bleak forecasts. Gaia knows I never back down from confronting controversy or gleefully flogging an ideological position.
However, I actually find myself simultaneously agreeing and disagreeing with both Anonymous 033113. To repeat this is fiction espousing a pro-business agenda. Well somebody has to do it, try and make the plutocrats sound like decent human beings.
Cause they themselves are total failures at shilling a message of 'kinder, gentler capitalism'. Which is a shame, cause such does exist. Not much and not often but here and there, hiding in the bushes, you can find intelligent, honest and humane businessmen.
TxRad did a terrific job of developing interesting characters, with sharp dialogue and constructing a believable scenario for a Modern Urban Fairytale.
English
really liked it.....a chapter 2 sure looks inviting...:)
Chapter 2????
I loved this. They could go far.
Very good
This could support a chapter 2 or more but it is OK where it is today. Not all stories have to be epic and this had a good ending.
Kind of broken plot - why the hell is she apologizing for anything if the last time she was through there the land really had been destroyed? I'm not a greenie and simply loathe some of their more extreme organizations, but that's the problem with big companies and some of the smaller ones too - they think they can slap a fresh coat and a few million dollars of paint on something "cleaned up" when some of the more toxic repercussions really are permanent. I mean, being the activist she is, she has to know that even if Tom is ridiculous enough to front completely dishonest logic like "trusting me means trusting my company" and "I'm just paying you half a million dollars to get your attention, not bribing you". There are things businessmen will do, ways they will treat the world around them, that they would never subject their families or romantic interests to.
Four stars for hot sex and a passable story, but what comes across as cheap rationalizations for corporate irresponsibility makes both characters more sleazy and unlikeable than intended, and makes it less than a five star story.
Something odd
about the environmentalist driving the Mustang in a max-gas-using manner. And they kinda got the sex before the trust but verify.
Great Read*****
Best story I have read in a while. Thanks for sharing.
I liked it. The only part I didn't like much was Jana's personality at some points of your story. I would have prefered she sounded more like a feisty confident drunk horny woman, instead of a drunk horny man.
I too, hope there will be a second chapter.
Cute
An enjoyable read 5*
Great story.I really enjoy this type.
A very pleasant read. As usual
lividly lavacious...
TR, another well-crafted story. By now, most regular readers know that I really hate to have to agree with an anonymous commentator critiquing a contributors efforts. This is erotic fiction after all, as in imaginary and made up.
There is little desire among the Literotica readership for uncomfortable facts and bleak forecasts. Gaia knows I never back down from confronting controversy or gleefully flogging an ideological position.
However, I actually find myself simultaneously agreeing and disagreeing with both Anonymous 033113. To repeat this is fiction espousing a pro-business agenda. Well somebody has to do it, try and make the plutocrats sound like decent human beings.
Cause they themselves are total failures at shilling a message of 'kinder, gentler capitalism'. Which is a shame, cause such does exist. Not much and not often but here and there, hiding in the bushes, you can find intelligent, honest and humane businessmen.
TxRad did a terrific job of developing interesting characters, with sharp dialogue and constructing a believable scenario for a Modern Urban Fairytale.
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