by HottieKatie
The basic premise isn't bad, but the telling of the tale seems more like a report than an erotic story.
Kinda agree with the Buff...there was a lot of concern for wet knees, etc! Less attention dedicated to how they were thinking about their own and their partners pleasure!
Still pretty hot, despite almost no tension...at least let a snake wriggle across Sweetie's feet at a critical moment!
The idea was good but the story was non stimulating and dull. It contained numerous errors, which if you had taken the time to re-read you should have caught. I suggest
you get The Synonym Finder by Jo Rodale if you intend to go further with your
writing endeavors.
Liked it a lot - but would like a little longer story next time sweety! This wasn't long enough to get my rocks off as I masturbated while reading it! You're on the right track though. Maybe I could help guide you through the intricacies of sucking and fucking. I love both fucking, sucking and being sucked so much and it sounds like you do too! You might like my eight inches of rigid cock.