Welcome to the jungle. Dirty and fast first story. An editor or beta reader would help simple technical issues. I'm thinking you intended to throw us directly into the fantasy, but more set up would help. How did she get into this situation? Was it voluntary or abduction? Who were these trainers and what else did they put her through? Was the 'sale' direct or auction? When master max says for the rest of her life I'm thinking that won't be long....... . Is she chained in his momma's basement, next to the bins of Star Wars collectables?
Good first submission looking forward to future stories. Thanks for sharing.
by
Anonymous04/08/13
agree with anonymous
did she give herself to someone and they sold her, needed to work off student loan bills, or was she "taken" for slavery? If this is hell then this is no BDSM its non-con/relu
good start but some errors
there are many wonderful editors available
English
Welcome to the jungle. Dirty and fast first story. An editor or beta reader would help simple technical issues. I'm thinking you intended to throw us directly into the fantasy, but more set up would help. How did she get into this situation? Was it voluntary or abduction? Who were these trainers and what else did they put her through? Was the 'sale' direct or auction? When master max says for the rest of her life I'm thinking that won't be long....... . Is she chained in his momma's basement, next to the bins of Star Wars collectables?
Good Read***
Good first submission looking forward to future stories. Thanks for sharing.
agree with anonymous
did she give herself to someone and they sold her, needed to work off student loan bills, or was she "taken" for slavery? If this is hell then this is no BDSM its non-con/relu
good start but some errors
there are many wonderful editors available
great story
it would be nice to be trained as an anal-only slave
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