Bait and Switch Retype - Complete

pretty sweet

Damn 46 pages. Glad that its all together in 1 story though.

eBook format available.

I have this in eBook format for free, if anyone wants it. Just PM me.

The end felt to rushed

After the battle in the epilogue it felt rushed like you were tire of writing and just wanted to finish the story, even though there was plenty of story left to tell. That was the only problem I had with this story. I loved the story arc and the character development it just felt like the ending was to rushed it didn't blend well with the rest of the story's flow.

Short......

Alright, So I read through the entire thing, and frankly, your characters towards the end seem a bit flat. I love your plot though. The ending seems a bit rushed and there could be more to it. Frankly over all, I think you could turn this into a novel, if you were to fix a few things. Some of the sex scenes towards the end seem rushed, and others feel unnessasary.

Overall, good job, loved the story.

Ending was really weak.

"All" of his kids have his power? By your count it sounds like he has ten kids by the various women, which is probably a low count considering you don't mention any with Shanna which I find unlikely. Why would things take ten years to get fixed with 10 kids, 5 of which are the super hybrids, when "all" of them have the same power as their father?

RIP?

First off, as with most of your stories, this one got five stars from me. I love the plot progression, and the sex scenes you've written are intense. I also like that this one is separate from the other series that you've written as this shows your ability to come up with new stories.

I'm wondering about your comment at the beginning of this, "Dark_Brother rest in peace." What did you mean by this? Are you no longer writing? If so, Literotica will be a worse place without you.

Good story

Just wanted to say enjoyed most of the story and it was all well written great idea and excellent execution. I think if the "hero" wasn't such a class A asshole it would have been a great story. At the beginning he thinks about the responsibility of his power, and proceeds for the rest of the story to take 0 responsibility. Although it did get him laid a lot witch I guess was his goal, by the end it very much felt like as long as he was happy other people getting hurt didn't really matter....
for example Gina and what happened to her , then ignoring her after he changed her .. then again ignoring her with horrible consequences when she needed help, and that night going to work and leaving her alone.... again. Guy has no moral compass.

Awesome

Thank you for an awesome story!

Dark_brother passed away...

This chapter was posted by his best friend DBs_bro... head over to his story "fall of a hero" to find out more...

Wow! An awesomely long but action packed story! Well at least acting as 'liason' for the races he is prolly getting a nice, fat government salary, not to mention all the perks of being the world hero ;)

Ironically I noticed you like sll of the same Anime that I do :). (Btw, there is a new season of Sword Art Online if you havent been keeping up)

As for dealing with the demons, I kept thinking back to my WoW Mage... Just Sheep Them!! Hehehe

Thanks for writing!

Epic story here

Considering the length of most of the stories here this one was the "War & Peace" of literotica. The ending did feel a little rushed, but did have that Ender's Game feel to it. Overall well worth 5 stars and the several hours I spent reading it end to end.

incredible

the first time I read through this i thought it was amazing, but this rewrite is incredible, the extra chapter was awesome. although it saddens me to ehar that dark_brother has passed, rest in peace.

Awesome

this is the 2nd website i've read this story and it never stops to amazed me.luv it

Author of this Retype

For those wanting context, the author of this retype was Dark_Brother's friend DBs_Bro after DB died from a roadside bomb. DBs_Bro still writes amazing stories on this site though.

Here's his profile page: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?u id=1485925&page=submissions

Amazing, utterly amazing story

Having never read the original story, I find myself privileged to have read this retype.
Reading the comments & seeing the DB was killed by a roadside bomb & having lost several of my friends to them as well - RESPECT Brother.
The story was not what I expected & caught me by surprise, but utterly gripped me like few others I've ever read on here - to the point I've done it in 24hrs & not slept with work starting in 2hrs time!
We have lost a erotic writing genius.

joss whedon doesn't have a hair on his ass...

...if he doesn't hire this guy to write him a show. This guy has awesome character development.

YOU READ THIS YET WHEEDON? Imagine this guy writing the first spin-off of Serenity. His scenes maybe need some polish around the edges, but look at the characters and the metaphors.

C'mon, you know you want to.

Truly Spectacular!!

Incredible piece of work. Thank you so much for your efforts with this, as a fellow author here, I know how much effort it takes to come up with stuff like this. I speak for all when I say, thank you for giving us this gift.