- All
Comments (8) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
nicely
written
Oh christ
5ed, do I spoil it by giving away the good parts? i.e. almost every line and in total
do I nit?
OK, nit a little
gliding silently
reason?
As I expected, a good reason to visit today! Now you just raised the bell curve, naughty woman
*****
Five.
Love
it all: the stately pace, the subtle yet strong use of assonance, the perfect images (Easter Island face, palms down like two parts of a prayer parted by doubt).
I have only two nitpicks:
1) parts...parted should be fixed unless you meant to repeat the word. Could use "separated" or some such for "parted." Or (since I really like "parted"), maybe change "parts" instead--and I think there's more possibility to do something interesting there.
2) I'm not sure what a "saintly window" is. I get that you're painting a metaphor with a broad brush in this poem, but what does saintly really mean? Stained glass? The shape? I think you could improve the way you describe the window by being more specific. Just my opinion.
One of your best, Tess. Don't let it languish here! xo
Outstanding
"a shrouded sister" says so much.
I loved "palms down like two parts of a prayer/parted by doubt". I was hoping you'd take that just a bit further, particularly when the ending suggested something quite the opposite to me. I couldn't quite reconcile that with the remarkable woman in the last 2 stanzas unless, of course, the lines said more about the poet who said it, which may have been your intention. Nonetheless, it left me a bit confused.
As was already noted, the "Easter Island" stanza is remarkable, not only because of the images it conjures, but for the contrast between Easter and hospice.
This poem really stretched my imagination.
just...
"two halves" might be worthy of consideration
just beautiful
Commenting on a comment about a very nice poem
Saintly windows must refer to the images in the stained glass easy jump
so much beauty to choose from
I was tempted, I tried to decide which stanza I liked best. but they are all excellent. I am so glad to come back and see you are still producing such a wonderful quality of work.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Biographer or
More submissions by GuiltyPleasure.