All Comments on 'Aphrodite Private Ch. 01'

by frog7

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  • 4 Comments
DmitryDmitryabout 11 years ago
did not read pass this

""Well um, I... since you've come back I've been fantasizing about taking off your clothes, getting between your tities, squeezing your lovely ass and cumming inside of you." WHO TALKS LIKE THIS??????

You are a romantic, BIG ONE, for sure. This is not erotic, it's plain poor taist pornographic. Learn what works, cause this does not.

SomethingInTheWaySheMovesSomethingInTheWaySheMovesabout 11 years ago
Horrible. Just garbage.

You can find some good stories here, some bad stories here. It's more rare to find really great stories, but unfortunately, it's not at all uncommon to find crap like this. However, you managed to rise to the top of the garbage heap! This is one of the worst stories I've ever seen here! Congratz!!! You win the prize for worst piece of shit, 2013!

What a waste of time and effort. YOUR effort and OUR time.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Confusing

You did some development, but the text of your descriptions was problematic. In many cases the story seemed to jump around rather then establish a linear chain of events. Some of the language that you used was more appropriate to a high school student then a college student, which if that was the intent it would have helped to make that clearer , some ways to have done that would have been for the professor to comment on his language not changing since high school.

Your writing to be honest wasnt great, but it wasnt bad either. Keep developing your style and make sure you have a good editor.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Not very good

If this guy is a college student, he should learn grammar and punctuation. The story does have promise so please try it again!

Anonymous
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