1: Educating Kaylee Ch. 06

Love this series

... and can't wait for more!

Perfect

Again perfect timing and pacing. One of the best!

Great Story

But you need to write faster!!!!!!! :)

outstanding

Keep it coming!!! Wouldn't object to faster either. This is getting really good.

I'd find a way to cyberpunch you if it meant we got the next fantastic installment any sooner! Keep up the great work!

Faster Please

Love it. More chapters faster if you can please.

tell us more about the challeger... big block? 4 speed? hemi? inquiring minds wanty to know...

Wow

OK, I'm just like everyone else. It drives me nuts waiting for the next chapter. But I won't tell you to hurry. Something this good takes time and we'll just have to wait. Take all the time you need just please don't stop!

wooooøoooooooooooooooooooooøoooow

I have never read story like this 1 u r amezing keepup ur good work n plez submit next chapters fast.

Sweet monkey I love this story and I am not one for sappy ones. But damn I want a ebook version of this and I think many of us would buy it off you if you kept writing stories like this.

Absolutely Amazing

I love the story and the pace and absolutely everything about it. You are doing an amazing job so far each chapter is better than the last. I would love it to come out quicker but at the same time I want you to do justice to each chapter and will happily wait. Keep up the unbelievably excellent work.

Wow

Loved this chapter so much. Can't wit for more :-)

Another Great Chapter.

I've been reading on this site for several years and this is the first time I've felt the need to comment. Spartan, this is an amazing story. You took some fairly cliche archetypes and created an amazing and heartfelt story. I've read most of the stories others have compared yours too and you outshine them all. I seriously hope you consider publishing this (and your other story as well) when you are ready. Take as much time to get these into the shape you feel is ready to show us. I've been following a sci-fi story on this site for the last two years. I don't mind waiting for a great author. And you sir, are amazing.

loved this chapter... too!

awesome work!!
what can I say that has not yet been said? you write marvellously good!
thank you for your hard work, and for sharing this story and your Art with us readers.
keep up the excellent work! ^^

WOW.

wow.

just wow.

hope to read more of your stories in the near future :)

Your amazing!

You writing is so amazing and everytime I read these chapters im left wondering
What's going to happen next. I hate that you leave me waiting so much more. I can't stop reading these, there intoxicating.

Two Thumbs Up!

The pacing of this entire series has been very good! I just hope that there won't be any cliche'd resolution to the Bradley-Kaylee-Luke issue in future chapters.

Impressive writing so far!

glitch

Wasn't he in a sling in chapter 5? The kiss couldn't have happened as you described it with a broken elbow.

Great, but watch the timelines

First off, I think the story is great. I like the fact that you're taking time to establish the characters and building anticipation.

However, a few minor quibbles. Be sure to watch your timelines. As another reader commented, Luke was in a sling in the previous chapter. Also, in this chapter, Kaylee goes out to dinner with him on Christmas Eve and then somehow had enough time to purchase Christmas gifts for his family? Little details like that can really break the reader from the story.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Yay! New chapter! My question is simple: has Kaylee informed Bradley that he's dumped? Might be important. Might not. We'll see what happens, I suppose.

The interplay between Luke and Kaylee is so... right. They're both so lovable, but for very different reasons. For whatever it's worth, I applaud Luke for doing the right thing. They say that the mark of a proper upbringing is that you do the right thing, even at two in the morning and half asleep. I think the principle holds in terms of Luke's confusion level.

Well done, both to him and to you as the author. I'm looking forward to the next installment! :)

badtameez dil badtameez dil maane na maane na.....

Feedback

@alkymist and anon: Thank you so much for catching my error! I changed it in my draft, should I ever publish this on e-book. If I have time I'd like to go back and update it here some day in the near future. It was easier to ditch the sling. Not sure how I missed that. As for the shopping, that's a little easier; the girl has money and is always buying stuff so it's not a stretch to have her do some last-minute shopping. Buying gifts is her love-language, if you will. To clarify (and I updated in my draft) I had her buying the gifts after the date was set with her and Luke, which was really how I intended it in the first place, I just never really said it anywhere. If you see any other errors please don't hesitate to let me know!

@Archangel: As always thanks for your great inputs! And yes, I didn't forget about Bradley. More to follow.

@Everyone: Thanks again for reading my story! Unfortunately I couldn't get one out this weekend, but will shoot for next Friday. Just as a reminder, Book One is coming towards and end. Book Two and Book Three are vastly different, so be warned. Some of you that specifically like the high school romance only might want to stop at the end of Book One. After all, (except for a flashback or two) they can't stay in high school forever...!

-Spartan22

More on the feedback

As editor, I'll take responsibility for missing the sling issue. Mea culpa, but I'm still blaming the previously-mentioned nasty surgery/heavy narcotics I was on... Still, good catch, y'all.

And, Spartan, you've read Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages? If you (and the married/involved readers) haven't read it, run to your local library. If I have a healthy marriage today (and I do), that book is one of the major reasons. Great way of explaining miscommunication within a relationship, and how to avoid it.

Yours,
Rusty

PS -- What'd y'all expect? I really *am* a librarian, after all...

great

loved the story can't wait for the next ch.

"Violate" her?

What a crock. The first time I've disliked Luke.

Best story ever. Plz contact me on kik at mr.cheesepuff104

Addicted to this Story.

Cannot stop reading this. Just gets better as it goes.

started and stopped, and started and stopped

I finally read your whole story. I've started and stopped it several times, thinking it was just another Nerd gets the Cheerleader tale, but you fooled me. Your characters had character. Real, genuine character, though masked by circumstance and backgrounds. You did an excellent job of weaving Luke's obvious love of Kaylee throughout the story, but you did so without all of the cloying cliches common on LitE.

I especially liked the way you ended the story without sex. I know that sounds strange on a porn site, but that would have violated the character within Luke and would have left the story as a tawdry cheap tale, just as Luke would have felt about Kaylee had he given in. Very well done.