by Greensparks
Interesting poem. I think you capture some of Marquez in your surreal imagry.
I gave you a five because the images are good and like Sandyb said the overall effect is surreal. I also like the extended "eyes" metaphor. I'm a little familiar with Marquez, very little, so I'm probably missing most of the direct references. Still I think your poem would be strengthened by some editing (for starters, I'd separate those first 6 lines into strophes of the first two and then the next four lines--it reads with more of a rhetorical punch to me that way). Also not sure that last line is really working as well as it could. And there is too much telling in the title! But it's all good material to work with. Just my opinion of course and welcome to the Lit poetry world. :-)
used so well
give em' hell
loved it
For the strafing of the friable mind,
Archives of a mothballed life -
and the eyes as said as below
5ed