All Comments on 'The Succubae Seduction Ch. 04'

brilliant story. i love your story

I have been completely enjoying this story ... thank you :-)

That this tasty tale is served in such small bites!

Thankfully, there is little time between courses. Still, it would be nice to have larger portions to enjoy.

Glad he finally noticed what drained him. Sort so an inverse succubus?

Please don't stop. I really want to know where this goes!

Thanks.

I love the fact that Angela can take the form of other hot women. Hopefully Lyden can think of some fantasies for Angela to act out for him. Maybe she could even be Brooke for him as it seems that he is turned on by her. Either way you plan to go with this story, please keep writing as it seems that many people including me are enjoying it.

Doesn't Angela refer to it as the "shadow realm" before Lyden calls it the "Shadow World"? Then Lyden says it's a term he came up with himself, so it seems a bit odd. Could possibly be tweaked so Angela refers to it as "over there" or something, dunno. Just a thought!

you have many, many, many surprises for us. Thank you for such a wonderful story.

666666*

difference between the two for the character to claim as his own.

Oh, as I walked away from the screen after last chapter's comment, I realized I should have used homonym, not antonym.

There still are some minor things that are getting past your collective eyes, perhaps a third pair in the future is what's needed. Do you and your editor discuss continuity, plot conflicts, &/or dialogue problems? Or are they only proofing? For your talents to really soar, and your writing to excel, the writer-editor relationship needs to be closer to a collaborative partnership with a touch of mentoring rather than simply proofing and error correcting.

Character development should be on going; introspective asides, memories, internal dialogue are all useful in that respect, as well as providing a vehicle for plot depth, (deepening?) and/or defining or rationalizing/explaining plot/world/character idiosyncrasies.

The good authors create depth and richness in addition to telling a tale; that's how they mesmorize (sp?) their readers.

LOL

Angela is the best. She kind of reminds me of Catherine from the video game of the same name, just cuter. Keep it comin'