To Keep a Secret Ch. 01

Hot & Original

Terrific debut -- hot, terse, original take on a motif. Believable and nuanced motivations from the woman with realistically confused but ultimately compulsive reactions from the man. First class!

Awkward

That opening sentence is dramatically awful.

No non-con in this, no reluctance. She isn't even sure who suggested it, just that she willingly went along with it without being coerced.

To Anonymous: For what it's worth, I mentioned to the Admins when I submitted the story that I wasn't sure it fit here or not. They posted it here anyway, so... Yeah. I get what your saying, even agree to an extent, but I left it to the admins and they posted it here.

Interesting

Personally I'd put this in BDSM, but I can see why the admins would put it here, there is reluctance evident. I guess it depends where the story goes.
Loved it anyway

Great but where is part two

Great start, but you definitely need to post the rest of the story. I want to read more

Shaky Start

The most important sentence in a story is the first and I am sure you lost a lot of readers because the start to this story was abysmal. Yet the story improves and I believe has all the makings of a really good read. Please in your next installment make the beginning stronger, more dramatic.

Please keep writing

This story is intriguing and a little unusual. I hope you keep writing, trust your intuition.
It is rare to find originality here. Thanks for interesting story.