The Bar - a series

This whole series

is really interesting. I went back to read the other pieces you've already posted to try to get it all in perspective. It's an ambitious undertaking: will you have a chapbook's worth when you're done?

There's are bits and pieces I might revise to tighten it all up: maybe cut some excess verbiage or move some of the line breaks. But when it's all together you'll have something pretty special and I hope you can publish it. Btw, I especially like how the strong, unique voice of the bartender narrates to hold the pieces together. You could have done it from different perspectives, but this works well--it all really becomes the bartender's story. You might consider italicizing some of the lines that especially sound like dialogue or some other trick (maybe with spacing) to make them stand out more. The pieces that sound like outright dialogue lend authenticity imho.

Wonderful work. xo