by markbrownbear
for this brainfart you just had, because it's too short and majorly lacking in information to qualify as a story. Kinda like Pluto no longer holding planet status.
Typical garbage posted here for the limp-wrist crowd.
The bad part was everything you wrote. I'm not entirely certain on what planet this was erotic; but thanks for not making it longer.
1* Because I cnnot give you less. Poorly written. Pooly concieved Just poor
You are brown something alright, pitiful. Besides being a little cuck you must have P.E.
You gave away the slant of the story right away. Even with a short story there are ways to build some tension. Not badly written but also not developed.
But way too short. Build the middle more and the charactors and the content. Realllt too short to be good but lots of promise of quality. Write her side next and build the story
This had the makings of a good story, but needed more development of characters and theme. Why not have the wife give more details of the six previous encounters. Try again.
This is a chuck or gay, bisexual tale. eat your wife after 6 men did her, very
sick boy. poor writing
a chucky husband who lets his wife fuck 6 guys bareback .this writer needs to get real or end his posts .to short and just a sick story..
She needs to have her friend come over next weekend to help her with hubby to repay him for his kindness.
The husband really got off on it. Our only interest is cheating and the husband arising to heroic stature of manhood and slaughtering the whore bitch.
You have to be a sick bastard to eat cum out of your wife. All the cucky bullshit around is getting very old. Get some help as you have a very sick fetish!!!
Loved it! Got right to the point of what a husband like this wants.....
A). Evangelists who haven't read LIT's definition of LW.
B). Fellow Travelers who love the theme.
C). LITerary critics who judge on quality of writing, largely independent of theme.
The author will improve the most by studying those commenters in group C. Hubby's orientation towards a HotWife is kinda hinted at fairly early, but that is masked by his alcohol consumption status. It is possible they have a very open lifestyle, OR that he takes her (and maybe his) marital vows very seriously but is too drunk to process the implications of what she is saying! Sweetie's interest in the proffered nautical adventure is much easier to read, certainly when she wants a new bikini...and in-your-face clear when she plans a trim.
The middle needed either a shift in PoV, or a thorough de-briefing upon her return. The cream-pie test was poorly done. If he had a known history of doing that, even if just on his own goo, then it would have been gratuitous but acceptable...to Reader Groups B & C only! Group A would have wigged-out even further!
The comment on tension is very germane. MarkyBB generated a major Yawn on a potentially Very Hot Theme!
2.5 just barely 3*
Good as far as it went but would like the second installment. :-)
Easysex
You're better off paying for a whore. Get plenty of variety and it's cheaper than a whore for a wife.
W.T.F. a paid whore is smarter than that, and even a gay pimp wouldn't fucking eat her, this is demented.
The question I have for all you anonymous folks who trash these themed stories, is why don't you just go back to the section where you can jack off reading about fucking your little sister?
Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'mm......no real story here, no character development. Apparently neither had any concerns about "cheating" so I guess I shouldn't worry about their relationship....but really the story was pretty boring.
Are you making your sister available for us dickhead. Let us know, we'll gladly fuck her for you or maybe you're already doing that. Care to share?
Loved it. Really hot to enjoy a sexually open woman. And going down on her is considerate and showing you share everything with her.
Why is everyone so judgmental? Go read something else.
Chytown you can always tell a cuck story. The writers' always describes their wives bodies just before the wives go fucks another man or three. And he always say how hard his dick gets while hes thinking about her. thats how you know it's a cuck story check others and you'll see what I mean.
What a pile of shit. And fuck you if you can't handle the truth
What a load of shit! Unbelievable that you dare to publish that proof of your lack of talent. Sorry...even one star is too much credit.
The only ass that needs to be ignored is you. Didn't somebody ever tell you that public feedback is exactly what it says, "public feedback". Who the fuck are you to deny anybody their opinion. Only this jerk of a writer can do that, by deleting or not allowing. Anybody that gave this story five stars doesn't know the meaning of the word "erotic". Perverted and sick maybe, a wimp ass cuckold into humiliation and slurping cum from his whore wife, who could have picked up any kind of disease. Yea, yea, it's just a story.
Hot theme, could have been better written though, and longer. It is amusing to read the comments from all those tense and frigid readers who obviously never have experienced anything sexually interesting. The rage is just hilarious when you consider the fact that they voluntarly visit an erotic site. Do we want to read boring stories of faithful and moral sex within marriage? No way.
erotic and disgusting are two different things. Don't act like this kind of fetish is normal. You must be a supreme cucky if you think we are frigid because we think eating another mans cum out of your wife is disgusting.........much less 6 men. 95% of men would puke if someone just brought up a situation like that without even any details. Since the thought of eating cream pies being gross makes me frigid then, I'll happily be called Ice man the rest of my life. You've gone way too far off in fetish land. A trip back to the real world might be in order!
For the record: eating cum is NOT my thing. Horny, cheating wives who act out their lust, on the other hand... My point was to point out the paradox that there are so many people here who read these stories and act really provoked and indignated of the idea that a wife can have sex with other men. What are these people doing here? I don't like nazis, and therefore i do not visit nazi-sites, see?
I would love to feast on her cum filled cunt before fucking sevenths!
I don't think they're frigid. I think they're intellectually limited and horribly intolerant of any sexual fascination they don't understand.
There's nothing in the story about being out on the boat. Thtere's no character development. We find out that she's a slut, and he's a wimpy cuckold. That's all. The original set up was great for a story. However, instead of her having some qualms about going, but relenting to help her friend, she goes and gets waxed, and buys the slutiest bikini she can get. The author should have had her buy a sexy, but somewhat discrete suit. Then have her express some reluctance in the morning, and then have the husband become a reluctant, or alternatively a willing cuckold as she describes to him what occurred on the boat. Great set up for a story, but utterly wasted by this author. Please, someone take it and go.
the author doesn't post anymore. Damn don't need more of them scum bags, got plenty already.
If the asshole of LIT hates it, then it must be good. Annony hates it so I gave it a 5!!
...in a very short story. Thanks for sharing! Would love to have eaten the wife after or before the husband.
ryeandgingerayle2@yahoo.ca
Loved the story just too short. Should have had her describe her antics on the boat while you were licking her cum filled pussy!!!o
I enjoyed it! There could have been more detail covering her adventures. Years ago, when my wife was in her mid-twenties she asked me if she could go sailing with a group of her friends from college. Since I was in the military and unable to make it home as often as I liked, I told her to go and have fun. I figured she was going to get laid and did she ever! She told me after they got underway the bikinis and swimsuits came off and it was a weekend long fuck-fest. I was sorry I missed it!
SPOILER ALERT!
Excerpt from the story:
Quote:
... I squeezed her ass and then started to undo the sarong. No – she pushed me away but I persevered and eventually, it dropped to the ground. She was naked beneath. What I immediately noticed was she seemed to be sunbaked all over – no bikini line. He beautiful, newly shaved pussy also looked very...
End quote.
* * *
This story got a 4+ (4.4 = 88%, ★★★★+)!
The wife is a KEEPER. No ifs or buts about it!
Full stop.
EXCERPT FROM THE STORY
(SPOILER ALERT!)
Quote:
Anonymous, over 10 years ago
I bet she was yummy!
I would love to feast on her cum filled cunt before fucking sevenths!
End quote.
As soon as I read freshly or newly shave pussy you're going to get a shit rating. Sorry, but I'm old school. I also get tired of reading about stupid husbands.