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a Storm is Coming

byEelunPhetmoore©
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by Anonymous

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by Ashesh904/26/13

Storm as

aphrodisac ! excellent !

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by case2805/16/13

"I can feel the rain inside her"

Strong poem, nice intensity and a lot of great lines. It feels like there was a raw brewing energy when you wrote it.... must have been the hate. I've read it a few times, the poem is solid and deserves a 4.5. I just think the following lines need a little tweaking to improve the flow at this point...

wind
an itching

rain
an aching

thunder
burning

throbbing
I'm hard...

Maybe consider losing the "an" and playing around with the placement of the words....

wind
rain
thunder

itching
aching
burni ng

I'm throbbing
hard veins jutting...

Feel free to read and give me feedback with my stories and poems.

Cheers
case28

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