All Comments on 'Fledgling Slave'

Very strong first story. You give a good feel for the scene. If you choose to continue this story, how they came to this place would be as interesting as what comes next. One nitpic, I would disagree about emotions being synonamous. The same emotion, no matter it's reason for being, can be positive or negative for the person experiencing it. Humiliation is probably the greatest example of this. While many crave the intensity and find it freeing at some fundimental level, many others will find it simply negative and hurtful without any erotic value. If it is what your character seeks/needs, it is good to explain that in some way. It validates the need for those readers who also have it and helps those who don't be more understanding of what would otherwise strike them as negative. I look forward to more from you.

For a first submission, this was really top-class. Elegantly written and very arousing, this could have been written by a master of the genre; perhaps you are one?!

Welcome to Literotica and thank you for this wonderful introduction to your talent. Please bring us more of this story and any others you have written - or intend to write; five stars.

Hey,

Thank you so much for your comments, I really appreciate the feedback and critique.

I will certainly be writing more stuff for Literotic and plan to write a trilogy of short novels.

You are more than welcome to visit my blog at http://jddesir.wordpress.com for more stuff.

Thanks again :)

JD

I just want to thank everybody for reading and voting for Fledgling Slave Pt I.

I hope you are enjoying Pt II as I begin to write Pt III today :)

Happy humpday sexy people, and don't forget you can also read my blog at http://jddesir.wordpress.com

JD x

Pretentious asswipe. If this is how he trains/treats a fledgling, he has failed in his step up from slave to master. Perhaps he chose poorly for his mistress as a guide.

The spoken dialogue is stilted and tries to hard to be formal. The inner monologues are psycho scary. The actions too harsh and capricious for someone new to the life.