1: Educating Kaylee Ch. 09

A few minor points. A Challenger does not have a front axle, as it like most all modern cars has independent front suspension. If his dad's friends went to all the trouble to replace damaged body panels, why would they leave a few scratches from the accident. Perhaps the point was that the car would never be quite as perfect as it was before, if so just say it that way.

I was a bit let down at the ending of this book. OK, he is going to join the Air Force, but why does that mean it is all but over between them. Normally two young people in love declare their undying love for each other and promise to wait until the ends of time, or some shorter period. Whether or not they actually do remains to be seen, but to love each other and then walk away as in forever seems just a bit off. Also the reaction of Luke to Kaylee's voice mail message when she didn't know about the accident seemed a bit contrived to further the story line. After all, she practically was ready to tear his clothes off when they met on the front lawn after the accident.

Sometimes it seems pointless to comment on a long story before it is completed, as usually the comments are off point because we don't know where the author is going with the story line. That said, good writing, enjoyable dialog and good character development.

Great

Great story mate!! I'm leaving for the Air Force soon too, and I can tell it is a HUGE step... And you manage to put that conflict into words that I couldn't describe ever. I want to say thanks for that. And for this story... But think you can put a little more of Faith in the stories? Cuz she's a teen and has nothing going on!? I call BS on that, hahaha. Maybe a quick story or two about after these events to help tie in the two books. Seeing Luke change, and her keeping in touch with Kaylee (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY, SORRY).. Keep a bit of the High School touch, because no matter what, they'll still be kids, help ease in that second book. My thoughts on the matter. Once again, a damn fine story, and I hope book two comes out soon. Hate checking every day for a new story.

Awesome story so far

This is an incredible read so far and I am really looking forward to continuing the story. I definitely would have liked more information from this last chapter. Are they through forever? I would also have liked to see more dialog between them in this chapter (since it is the end), not just im telling her, he is going into the military and her crying on his shoulder. I would like to see more of her development into the kind of person she was turning in to, etc. I will read the next book because I definitely want to know what happens and it is an excellent series I will just have to wait till I read everything. AWESOME JOB SO FAR!!!!

Damn

That ending...yeah depressing comes to mind...

Can't wait or book two, and for the love god let them stay together

Didn't think much of the ending. The story had a great beginning and then went down hill, I hope the second book doesn't follow this trend.

Sad

I really didn't like the way this ended. I don't think the character of Luke, as built up through the story, would have ignored Kaylee for a couple of months. I hope the second part has some redeeming factors and that they end up together!

Coward

Luke appears to be afraid of facing real life. Instead of going to college and being with a woman that loves him; He chose to join the military, risk being killed protecting Corporations and the Profiteering Military Industrial Complex. He must have suffered a serious brain injury in that auto accident. There are so many youngsters out there that would cherish the opportunity that was being handed to him on a silver platter.

a good story but

This was a good story but the ending to this book doesn't fit for me I mean I know this is your story but this is a what the fuck type of ending and I hope book 2 will end an a better note.

I concur with the general sentiment

Would have liked something different as an ending but as has been said this is your story and you decide its direction.
I will most assuredly be waiting for the next instalment.

Thanks

Nice job!

My opinion differs from some of the other commenters. While the ending and Luke's decision seemed a little forced or contrived even (from a storytelling objectivity), the wishful thinker of me actually respects him so much more. You made it clear the Accident was a huge deal to him; I respect that and I would think that Kaylee and his family would too. Eventually they'd understand his decision to serve, I mean look what his dad did before settling down. It takes guts beyond belief to think he can make a difference by helping others, and to risk his life for it. Not just his living breathing self, but risk losing his girlfriend, a chance at college, and a normal living. Some people don't have that as a priority. It could be naivety, but that's also part of his personality. I hope they end up together in the long run, but Luke grew up a bit, and he has Kaylee to thank for that. That's kind of cool, and I enjoyed reading about it.
thanks for writing and look forward to more,
Anonymous

ROTC

I think he's stupid to not go to college first, do the ROTC program and enter the air force as a officer. Why enlist? Especially when he already almost has his associate's degree. I loved this story. I just hope that one of the books ends up with them and a happily ever after.

I reccomend you read All Quiet on the Western Front before continuing. I have no real problem with how the story turned out (except I was secretly rooting for them to get married), but war is not glory nor is it life-saving. A person like Luke will hate the military.

Cant wait..u wanna speed it up?'..lol..big fan..thx for the stories

NEW CHAPTER !

YOU have wright a new CHAPTER SOON AS POSSIBLE. And with that i mean next month

Pleaaaassseeee bring them together!!!!!! Excellent story!!

Please!!

T.T good story

Very well done.

I've thoroughly enjoyed this story. Like some of the others, I was kind of hoping that Kaylee and Luke would end up moving forward together. But that's not how life works sometimes. Perhaps they will come together at a later time. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with the characters.

One of the anonymous comments mentioned that war isn't all glory, and that someone like Luke would hate the military. Perhaps he would. War is one of the ugliest realities of life. And death. But it is a reality, and it has to be dealt with. Judging by the conversations I've had with veterans and active military, very few join the military because they want to run off to war. The concept of SERVICE to your country is at the top of their list of reasons. When I was 18 I couldn't grasp that concept. By the time I did, a near fatal car accident had taken any opportunity to serve away from me. I am extremely glad that there are people who are willing to serve, and I thank every one of them - past, present and future. Luke seems proud of his desire to help and serve. As well he should be.

Dead Man Walking?

I am a simple romantic who happens to love "happy endings" because I know they happen in real life as well as fictional stories. I absolutely love this story and can't wait to get into the second part. Even though I give you 5 Stars I have to tell you that I hate the ending which in a way pisses me off. I rate this story so high not because I like how it ends but because you are the author and only you know where you are taking this series. It appears as though there might be some hope for a happy ending.

What distresses me the most about the ending is that you seem to leave not only the reader but the characters with no hope or even remote chance for the right ending. Thus the reason for the title of this comment "Dead Man Walking". You present it in such a way that suggests Luke's enlistment in the Air Force is a death sentence. Both literally and to their relationship. With the way you present the act of Luke informing Kaylee of his enlistment, it seems to leave her without any hope of a future with Luke and vise versa which causes both to have unnecessary pain in their lives. Hell, you even give your readers the idea that because someone enlists in the armed forces it is not possible for them to continue to develop a current relationship. Talk about depressing ...

So I am starting to read Part 2 of your story and can only hope their relationship not only continues but thrives/blossoms or whatever adjective you might want to add. In the meantime. Keep on keeping on ...

Verdict on Book 1

Overall very good, although you did play the cliché dumb blonde cheerleader and smart guy/nerd who helps her realize just how blind she is to the last bit.

It's really too bad

Real life politics are so much in this story, unlike your other one which I enjoyed tremendously (Luke's parents). Not at all a fan of the military or religion to be following this past this point. Hope you get feedback from people who enjoy this stuff at least.

Too save people

I have never really understood the reasoning to join the millitary to save life ... U are not actually saving a life we are just exchanging one'slife on our side with the enemy's.

All that aside really liked the series till now

Are you fucking serious?!?

After eight pretty cool and awesome chapters, you finish the tale like this?!

This kid ain't ready for the military. Seriously dude... forget it.

Not impressed with the ending..

As the others said- what an anti climatic way to end this short story. How fustrating. Bla. It was still a good read. But the military? O.o

Beautiful story

Miltary fit kind of awkwardly though.

pathetic!!

seriously man??

the most pathetic ending to a story i have ever read.

are you trying to do social service on literotica?? i am not getting it.

wasted my time on the previous parts

signing off

Totally Pathetic!!!

And senseless for a character the author has written as so smart and level-headed. If Luke wants to save people he could become a brilliant doctor. Bringing this irresistible need to serve his county into the story out of the blue, and leaving the girl that up to this point he has been crazy about is about as lame as can be imagined. As a military vet, even I am appalled at such a choice. What a waste for this story and its readers time. I tend to place another warning at Chapter 1, to accompany the one already there I did not heed, for readers not to waste their time on this crap of an author.