Out of Love Ch. 01

Great start

The set-up was really good. I am looking forward to the next chapter. I hope that it doesn't take too long. I am interested in how a three guy friends would send one of the guys out to cut down a tree that big with an axe by himself. That is a ton of work. I am also interested in how a wife of so many years could seem to so casually toss her marriage away.

And then I grabbed the axe...

...and lodged it in Jim's back.

Fine Start!

I think you set up things well, as we know Hubby is not going to accept these games. I hope we don't have to wait too long for the next chapters, because I'm looking forward to seeing how Jason deals with the betrayal of his wife and friends. But still, he should have known some shit was up, and the tree thing was way overboard. His buddies, if they ever really were his buddies, wouldn't have made him do ALL the work, while they just sat around to party. He should have been able to insist on help, but somehow never did. It was a little confusing, as he narrates to the past tense, he knew about the weed, but did he know about it right then? If he had, that should have been the time to go back to the cabin with Chloe and put a stop to the shennanigans. Oh well, looking forward to see how the story progresses, and thanks for your effort!

About this chiffhanger thing

it is trite and better pull your own leg instead of mine.
story will be the same like others-a wimp story nonetheless.

I should've paid attention to the chapter number at the start as now I'm really fucking pissed off and I have nobody to blame but myself. I should've paid better attention. Now the story. You started this off well and it can go one of two directions that I see. He either mans up just like you have written him to do so far and burns the fucking house down with all of them in it. Or you turn him into a willing cuck which means the only people who will read your stories after that are the few sicko's here. I sure hope he doesn't turn into cuckie!!!

What will be this story?

BTB or not to be this is the question...........or running husband story?

Needs cutting

I thought it awfully wordy. Too much detail about what this one or that one look like. The tree cutting bit, realistically all the guys should have worked together.

Basically no real action in the first two thirds of the story. It might have been better to tell it from the wife's pov and alternately switch to the husbands

snore

what age are they ? do they come out of a home for mentally challenged ?
should any of this be erotic ?

some really hard questions you should ask yourself author `!

Well

He either whips ass and dumps her or pussy's out, hopefully the wait won't be to long.

I hope the next chapter comes soon, like tomorrow

I do not get it/I hope the next chapter clarifies things

A loving wife turns whore on her husband. Why? This doesn't compute. Knowing he is in the room with her ,she just lets herself go and screws the others ,I don't care how high she is ,she just ended her marriage to Jason ,who is a straight guy.he did not deserve this , even if they set it up. Her brain was still working ,no excuses for her behavior.

Either a set up or she is a closet whore. Regardless he should be minus one wife and two friends. We'll see if you're brave enough to go that way or if you'll make him accept it. I'll vote on the next chapter.

Respectable First Effort - more hits then misses

The intro was a bit of a clunker. The author rates some slack because it's clear a lot of work has gone into his premier effort and the story has some ambition beyond the usual purient & or preachy endgames in this genre.

There are a lot of players on the stage and a fair amount of exposition went into their descriptions. Jim's betrayal did seem to come out of the blue. Perhaps a seed could have been planted to set that up. As another comment mentioned, it did seem artificial that the narrator worked alone on the fallen tree which gave opportunity for the first illicit tryst.

One last nit pick is I felt the rural setting could have been woven deeper into the plot. There was a storm that was barely described. In view of the narrator's desolation - some parallel environmental metaphors would have been in order.

Overall the author has done a rough but intriguing job setting up the next installment. The narrator doesn't seem like a man to be casually slighted. How many others knew and participated in the affair ? When this all plays out , I'm sure the tree will not be alone in crashing to the ground.

Slow start

Slow start but lots of promise. We're given a really good into to the characters and how they interact. The story really just started with the closing paragraphs, but it seems to be in good hands.

Nice start

I like this story so far, and am anxious to read your next chapter. Hope it is coming soon.

Good Beginning

How far does it go? I bet she was cheating the whole time. We'll see...

Loved it

Well done. I'm looking forward to the rest.

Reluctant 5*

You need an editor to smooth out your prose. The plot is interesting and semi-believable. You jumped the shark when he drew the short straw and went to chop the tree by his lonesome.

In most groups - if not all - the work, logically would have been divided with the short straw going first (or last). The fact that Chloe was able to walk to and fro the worksite shows that it would have been easy (and fair) to have three shifts.

Good plot development otherwise.

Good Start

A good start to to the story.
it seems J has been set up right from the start of the holiday.
so I am wondering his his wife already betray ed before the holiday even though he may have the biggest cock in his peer group.

I agree

Good start. A little wordy so the action does get a bit tedious. But, a good start. Let's see where chap 2 goes.

Time for ass kickin' . Only two stars until I see how this story plays out

Reefer Madness

Jezzaz admits that the three guys are a odd lot to be good friends. That provides some cover for several unusual interactions, such as selecting one guy to work on a fallen tree problem.

This is a promising start (once it got started)! I will rate it after the story is better developed (or over!)

Now that's writing

Keep it up*****

A big Tree

In my world, Three Men would have went to cut the tree.

Well Written Story***

Thanks for sharing.

Very Good Start

Though I am worried about where it might go... Is she or is she not responsible for what she is doing. We have people with varied opinions about that.

Starts out Promising

Unfortunately... you can see the scores associated with parts 3 & 4 which gives me a bad feeling about where this most promising start ends up. Nice start though

Not plausible

There is no way 3 guys would have drawn straws (or strips of paper) to choose who would cut the tree. They would have done it together or walked out together to reach an area where there was cell service or a place to call for help.

boring

Sorry, I couldn't get past page one. I got bored with the character descriptions.

A SOLID WORK OF ADULT FICTION

Great stuff!!

I am really looking forward to your next chapter.

Needs a bit of word review.

Mustang88LX is the loser.

His words convey exactly what kind of dickhead he is.

Go away fucktard.

5* story

You can call Mustang88lx a loser all you want, but the bottom line is that he is 100% correct and if you can't see that then maybe you are the loser!

IF THERE WERE ANY MORALS TO BE SAVED

the booze and weed trumps the non-believers TK U MLJ LV NV

mimicks ttt

accidental nudist cabin.
chapter one isn't much to my liking. hope this not a wimpy excuse for a man tale.
on to chapt 2 to find out.

There is a reason for the super low score on Chapter 4

I will try to keep this as vague as possible to prevent spoiling anything. If you want a revenge-less cuckold story that also contains a HUGE mindfuck on the protag, feel free to read all these. It would have been fine if left at two chapters, less so at three, and four was right fucking out.

HI HO HI HO

its to the woods we go. TK U MLJ LV NV

go away, cucks and cuckeses, wimpps faries

1 star for 1st page, can't read/skim anymore. whatta waste of BS
gimme a winterfrog tale any day no wimpy cuckies there.
1 star

Bottom Ten Worst Story

I read to the end before I rated this story and I'm glad I did. It let me come back and give it the one star it deserved.

If you like forgiveness stories after the main character has been seriously manipulated and abused, read on and good luck to you.

The whole thing was way too manipulative for me to stomach. I'd have found ways to destroy them all or killed myself trying if I were in the protagonists shoes.

too many questions

I don't buy it

Chloe and Jace have a good marriage, no straying?
What happens when the girs go admire the shawl and Mark joins them?
Why does the comment what color Kathy's panties are, but she is wearing none, does not get a follow-up between Jace and Chloe
don't friends take the labour of cutting the 3 together?
What happens when Jace is away?
What on earth makes Chloe fuck Jim?

100% cuck...

...ending. Turns hard to the right in the last few paragraphs, and goes full cuck. Don't waste your time.

What sort

of friends are these who send one guy to do hard labour for five hours while the rest party? And what sort of idiot is J to agree?

Pedicure?

“There's just something not quite right about sitting there while some little Korean lady uses implements on the tips of your fingers.” – VERY minor point – you mentioned drawing the line at “pedicures”; PEDICURES are done on the feet, if they are working on your fingers it is called a MANICURE.

Three

more chapters and prev. readers didn't enjoy the last one as much. I thought the first was great. I really can't see why the author needed to write so much to finish this one.

Second time through...

Still five stars. Still love it. Still a favorite. I'll save my comments for the last chapter. Amazing start.

I just want to say that he must be a pretty poor fuck if he almost never got to see her cum face and here she had it on as Jim fucked her. That alone would be enough to end this marriage, she preferred Jims fucking to his.

5

to offset asshole's 1

Pretty poorly edited

Hope you're doing better with that GAN (great American novel). Also Hope it moves faster.

What an idiotic bunch of cuck crap!!! MINUS 5*!!!

Why has a story on that side always be a cheating never ever a love story?? Are you all so pervert and brain sick!!!

Still a great story, second time reading...

Love these first few chapters, Jezzaz is an accomplished writer. Very well written.

BS

Based on his writings Jezzaz is the kind of friend who would aid or at least ignore your wife's cheating and then after discovery, try and shame you into getting back together.1*