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English
Needs a bit of work
Too little and too fast. You could have spent more time building it up. Wasn't she worried someone might here? A bit more time spent on the seduction would have been nice too.
warm penis custard?
"whipped my transparent pussy mucus"
you just need to slow down, maybe find an editor.
Grammar!
If you want your readers to believe that your narrator is an English teacher, then having her say " Every single time I teached the year 13 A level English group" does lack a certain credibility.
Response
It's short because its just a sexual story, without any background. If I wanted to add more detail on the seduction and stuff, I would have written a whole book about this.
Also, it says 'Wiped" not "Whipped", so I don't see your problems :)
I loved it
To be honest i actually liked it.
Even though it could have used a bit of more work, but i do understand that this is just a sexual scene without any background to it.
Keep on writing and you'll improve.
Love,
Mrs. Grey.
hornyyy
I wish I was your teacher... this got me so turned on, i needed a wank.
8====D
You look as amazing as the story
Really good, but could use a grammar review
This is a really nice story, quite enjoyable. You just need to up your grammar and have your next stories thoroughly edited before submitting them. Hope to receive more stories from you!
Good story
Good story, needs some work.
Damn you look so hot, I would like to lick you like an all day sucker ALL DAY!
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