This was a very cute story, written very nicely and with a lively touch. Anyone who has the gall to tell you "ANONYMOUSLY" to get an editor, because of one or twenty errors had better have gone through every year of school, getting perfect grades. If you are going to criticize someone else's work, you should be willing to put your name after it. If you are not, read this story, look in the mirror, and complained to the person looking back at you. You are getting this entertainment for free, and if you do not like it, change the channel. Prolonged_Debut10
by
Anonymous01/20/15
One of Your Best Stories
I have read many of your stories. I liked that this one is a little longer than most. Development was perfect. Typos don't show themselves in a well written story. I didn't see any! This one is as real as it gets. I wish I could have been Susan or Fiona. Outstanding job. Gave me some really good ideas. Guys don't have all the game smarts.
English
Decent story, but please get an editor
These two lines are an example of things being out of sync....
"Smile, Fiona," said Susan. "It was just a joke."
"Well you wouldn't be smiling if it had been you," grouched Susan.
Very nicely done
This was a very cute story, written very nicely and with a lively touch. Anyone who has the gall to tell you "ANONYMOUSLY" to get an editor, because of one or twenty errors had better have gone through every year of school, getting perfect grades. If you are going to criticize someone else's work, you should be willing to put your name after it. If you are not, read this story, look in the mirror, and complained to the person looking back at you. You are getting this entertainment for free, and if you do not like it, change the channel. Prolonged_Debut10
One of Your Best Stories
I have read many of your stories. I liked that this one is a little longer than most. Development was perfect. Typos don't show themselves in a well written story. I didn't see any! This one is as real as it gets. I wish I could have been Susan or Fiona. Outstanding job. Gave me some really good ideas. Guys don't have all the game smarts.
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