All Comments on 'Getting Off A Ticket Ch. 1'

You went fishing for comments - you got one! Personally, I don't care for the first person nature of the story. Since you are speaking to a female it limits your audience a little and that definitely kept me from getting any "erotic" enjoyment from it. Perhaps a woman would have a different reaction. You had a lot of grammatical errors which I will send you seperately.

This doesn't suck but you have room to improve. Keep at it.

I think the first person is a great approach making me feel like I'm right there. I also enjoy the way your character describes what the woman is feeling... keep writing!