A Wet, Wild Summer Ch. 02

Where might you take this story?

Will you leave the house and have adventures? A trip to the beach? Will you talk each other into doing things you've never done before?

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This really *really* sucked. You write in present tense which is a no-no for many writers. Of course, the mindless grammatically challenged idiots on here won't mind.

I couldn't get past the 3rd paragraph.

I am a grammar Nazi, but . . .

I usually leave comments critical of grammar, misspellings, etc. when they interrupt the flow of a story. I also don't prefer the use of the present tense in telling a story. Having said that, the present tense did not interfere with the telling of this story. I do think the initial buildup to the first sexual activity was too rushed and lacked development, but it is not a bad story despite that problem. Please keep writing.

Agree with Titan 100%

What he/she said. There's potential here, but the grammar needs straightening out. Please write again.

what happened to the rest of the family, you only mentioned mom going to bed.

Excellent story. Keep up the good work and i look forward to more of the same.

Thank you.

I could care less what tense the author uses, as long as it's consistent. If it's mix-matched it drives me nuts! This chapter was definitely better than the first one was, much too short though!

Any longer and I would pass out.

I would have added more delays. Dinner longer, Mom wanting to talk, where was Dad, where were other siblings. This way they would both be going CRAZY.
Why wait an hour after Mom goes to bed. They were in the basement and watching TV. Still one of the best. Are going to add more chapters? Will they move back to her college?