I liked it, but seemed a bit rushed. I will definitely like it more if you get her husband involved.
by
Anonymous05/22/13
A winning New Year!
Hot going hotter. . . .
Cunt to eat, finger, or fuck with a arse or two to do. The need for mommy awaiting to be fulfilled or just filled. . .
by
Anonymous05/23/13
So fucking sucking hot
Wow so totally debauched, the lucky fucker with all that lush cunt to fuck and suck.
More and more please, soon, like yesterday. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's uk
With all of the women he has lined up to fuck, he's going to be a busy dude.
I hope to see him fuck his mom soon.
And to fuck his next door neighbor Vivian in front of her husband, and show him how a real man fucks his wife, with him making Vivian scream through orgasm after orgasm and humiliating him. Showing Vivian's husband that he is better at fucking his wife than he could ever be, and she is his slut now.
Thanks for the read.
by
Anonymous05/23/13
hot
Keep up the hot writing
by
Anonymous05/23/13
Volcanic warmth !
Well lava of course, but in this story it is all about the cum, loads and loads of cum.
Happy New Year !!!! Well done.
Thanks Don
by
Anonymous05/23/13
Please Continue
Looking forward to future chapters about Allison and of course " MOM". Always interesting stories, keep up the good work!!!
I really liked this chapter. For a few moments I thought that she will take charge, but she preferred to play the sub. In fact, I think she plays with him like cat plays with a mouse, hehe!
Excellent story! Very nice action and pacing, you do a good job of changing things up. Fun to see tops-from-the-bottom Vivian, and the party scene added some personality to things beyond the sex. A little odd to see him falling so hard for Allison before ever meeting her, though, and so dismissive of Beth and his sister (who might be a bit shallow and bitchy, but have become quite loyal). It'll be fun to see Allison and his sister (who I'd love to see in a domme role again) and I hope you don't rush through the seduction there!
Keep writing, I look forward to more and I'm glad to see this story continued. *****
could you write about how he fucks his mother then have his mother and sister together
and this stories are amazing thank you
by
Anonymous08/05/13
I love the idea of him leaving again to go back to Harvard and have Vivian seduce his mom, as long as you don't let the mother get fucked by other dudes! Not even in a backstory like, having Matthew back in town and have Vivian tell him that she fucked a couple of guys under Vivian's control. DONT do that!
If so, it'll be fucking perfect!
by
Anonymous08/10/13
Finish the series
at the end your first installment of "Best Present Ever: Bitch Sister" you stated you were going thinking of writing a chapter or series about the "Bitch Sister"' 's brother going to fuck his sister's cheerleading coach and best friend Allison in which those chapters weren't published or written.
My Question is Why end a series without actually finishing it, I believe if you are going to mention other chapters at the end of the first chapter you should at least write them because people will be expecting to read them or don't list what the following chapters will be so no one will be wishing or dreaming how the series will evolve or whatever
Don't make us wait a year and a half for the next installment
Can't wait til he makes Mom his too!
by
Anonymous01/19/14
A couple minutes transpired
shuttered—you mean SHUDDERED
my CLOCK rock hard
——————————
We know she's a MILF. Do you think we're going to forget that in a few sentences? What do you take us for, dummies? Once a MILF, always a MILF. So shut up about it.
The guy you thank for helping you write should be totally embarrassed by now.
Did you ever notice that while not all anonymous posters are trolls, almost all trolls are anonymous? It's easy to be a prick when nobody knows your name. Anyway, I am looking forward to your next installment of the Best Present series - it's funny to see how Sandra isn't nearly as smart or in control as she thinks she is.
love the dynamic between our hero and Mrs. Raske. The slight surprise when he realizes he isn't the only one who has Sandra hoodwinked. Will his hubris and inexperience lead to tragedy? Or will he be able to empower his dream girl (Allison) by taking control and experience the full potential of a D/s relationship? Lots of smut (which I love) but entrancing nonetheless.
Well done.
Jasmine thanks TWO editors for their work, and yet basic errors are present in the "published" version
I've thought about ragging on her editors several times, but it just wasn't worth it to me, compared to some of the atrocities foisted off on us here on Literotica, so I AM glad that someone finally called her on her "editors"
she has to be your next conquest or your mother doesnt matter just keep them cummming
by
Anonymous07/07/14
The Education >
Well, I would say that the story line is progressing nicely... However, points about in-experience Ring True.... Returning to School might find it's way into a "Multiple Weekend" education about dominance, submission and how to take things to the next level successfully.... Does this mean that the astute nerd agrees to fall submissive to a well experienced Dominatrix or is taken under the wing by a long established Dominant? Do the lessons go beyond simply learning to take and maintain control or do they expand into the many facets of physical and mental Pleasure AND Pain and how to use them ??? We'll all have to wait and see.... I'm pretty confident that the little girls will be "Growing Up" during Summer Break.....
I loved all three stories. Kept me on the edge each time. Please write more. I hate it when excellent authors leave me hanging. Never knowing how it all ends.
Jasmine, in the previous chapter's comments, you said you were writing this in an American setting. While I think the use of "arse" rather than "ass" was appropriate given Beth's being British, in this chapter, you spoke of Matthew "...exploring every millimetre of her pussy...". If you are writing in American English, we do not use the metric system of measurement, so it should have been "every inch", but even if "millimetre" was appropriate, we spell it as "millimeter" in the US.
Speaking of the arse vs. ass debate, I like how you subtly addressed it in this chapter by having Matthew thinking "...hearing her say arse so much dirtier than ass". I smiled when I read that, having seen the previous comments about its usage. However, that line needed either "is" or a comma between "arse" and "so". Arse and ass should also have been in quotes, as he's thinking of those words being spoken.
The two encounters with Mrs. Raske don't match up. In the first, with the girls, she is a timid sub who is afraid of being caught by her husband. In the second, she doesn't seem to be very submissive at all. Of course, I guess the first encounter could have been all play-acting on her part, since she told Matthew she faked being seduced by Sandra and, thus, could have been continuing that charade. Still, she obviously plays at being submissive to others in order to indulge her husband's cuckold fantasies and didn't really seem all that submissive to Matthew, what with her saying to him"...don't you think it's time to you started calling me Vivian...or do you prefer slut?" The entire second encounter seemed to me to be an experienced cougar playfully indulging her new cub. She never acted as a true submissive would. Matthew never made her do anything she really had any objections to doing. She seemed to be calling the shots, as much as he was.
One other thing that doesn't ring true is Matthew's attraction to Allison as his intellectual and social equal, yet wanting her to be his submissive, as well. Just as he would not submit, I can't believe he'd expect this girl, who he sees as essentially a female version of himself, to submit to him. Not after his turning the tables in the previous chapter allowing the downtrodden Della to take the superior position in the pecking order. Della and Allison are the same, in that they are only submitting for the social attention it brings them, due to their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. From his previous actions, I would think Matthew would want to build Allison's self-esteem and not tear it down further by making her submit sexually to him.
There were several instances of missing punctuation in this and the previous chapters, usually missing quotes or commas, and wording mistakes, such as Vivian saying, "You are really ready for a forth load so soon?". It should have been "fourth load".
In the "Bitch Sister", Matthew was taking photos of a cum-covered Sandra "for prosperity". The phrase you wanted was "for posterity", meaning "for future generations", in other words, recording it as an historical record.
While I've enjoyed this series so far, it needs tighter editing and an editor who knows the differences between American English and the Queen's English.
I am still looking forward to reading about the oft-mentioned submission of Matthew's and Sandra's mother, and Matthew and Allison finally getting together.
I think Matthew should reverse the Allison vs. Sandra dynamic, just as he reversed the Della vs. Sandra one. After all, it was Sandra who started the ball rolling and who, by the end of this saga, should be made to submit to all of her subs in order to prove her true submission to Matthew.
I'm guessing this is a 3 parter because the main part of the heading is BEST PRESENT EVER, meaning presents over the holiday season. The rest should just be straight up.
Anyways, I LOVE THESE STORIES!! Keep 'em cummin'!! :-D
1. Marathon (marathon)
2. New Year's Ever (ever)
3. PARTED her stocking-clad legs APART
4. my clock rock hard (cock) TICKTOCK????
5. Having came recently (cum)
6. mini-marathon (mini marathon)
7. New Years (Year’s)
8. HEAD of my cock HEAD. (6 words HEAD twice)
9. ring in the New Year (new year)
10.forth load (fourth)
11. long held (long-held)
12. my Mom (mom)
English
I like this series
I hope you continue to develop this series. I think it is good, but could use a little more plot to go with the erotica.
A Favorite
This series is a Favorite of mine. Please continue. Thank you
Not your best work.
I liked it, but seemed a bit rushed. I will definitely like it more if you get her husband involved.
A winning New Year!
Hot going hotter. . . .
Cunt to eat, finger, or fuck with a arse or two to do. The need for mommy awaiting to be fulfilled or just filled. . .
So fucking sucking hot
Wow so totally debauched, the lucky fucker with all that lush cunt to fuck and suck.
More and more please, soon, like yesterday. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's uk
Nicely done
A very hot and erotic story.
With all of the women he has lined up to fuck, he's going to be a busy dude.
I hope to see him fuck his mom soon.
And to fuck his next door neighbor Vivian in front of her husband, and show him how a real man fucks his wife, with him making Vivian scream through orgasm after orgasm and humiliating him. Showing Vivian's husband that he is better at fucking his wife than he could ever be, and she is his slut now.
Thanks for the read.
hot
Keep up the hot writing
Volcanic warmth !
Well lava of course, but in this story it is all about the cum, loads and loads of cum.
Happy New Year !!!! Well done.
Thanks Don
Please Continue
Looking forward to future chapters about Allison and of course " MOM". Always interesting stories, keep up the good work!!!
Very erotic!
I really liked this chapter. For a few moments I thought that she will take charge, but she preferred to play the sub. In fact, I think she plays with him like cat plays with a mouse, hehe!
Great story!
Excellent story! Very nice action and pacing, you do a good job of changing things up. Fun to see tops-from-the-bottom Vivian, and the party scene added some personality to things beyond the sex. A little odd to see him falling so hard for Allison before ever meeting her, though, and so dismissive of Beth and his sister (who might be a bit shallow and bitchy, but have become quite loyal). It'll be fun to see Allison and his sister (who I'd love to see in a domme role again) and I hope you don't rush through the seduction there!
Keep writing, I look forward to more and I'm glad to see this story continued. *****
Once again...
...you've given us a very nice, erotic, sexy story. Keep up the good work.
mmmm damn jasmine
another great story. can't wait for the next installment int his series.
seemed a bit rushed
The story that is.
Does main char have a dad?
Just curious cheating (without consent) bothers me personally
Looking forward to another chapter
This is a really good story I am looking forward to more
Mother and then her sister with her mother
could you write about how he fucks his mother then have his mother and sister together
and this stories are amazing thank you
I love the idea of him leaving again to go back to Harvard and have Vivian seduce his mom, as long as you don't let the mother get fucked by other dudes! Not even in a backstory like, having Matthew back in town and have Vivian tell him that she fucked a couple of guys under Vivian's control. DONT do that!
If so, it'll be fucking perfect!
Finish the series
at the end your first installment of "Best Present Ever: Bitch Sister" you stated you were going thinking of writing a chapter or series about the "Bitch Sister"' 's brother going to fuck his sister's cheerleading coach and best friend Allison in which those chapters weren't published or written.
My Question is Why end a series without actually finishing it, I believe if you are going to mention other chapters at the end of the first chapter you should at least write them because people will be expecting to read them or don't list what the following chapters will be so no one will be wishing or dreaming how the series will evolve or whatever
more please
This is a great series and would love to read the next chapter.
Please
Don't make us wait a year and a half for the next installment
Can't wait til he makes Mom his too!
A couple minutes transpired
shuttered—you mean SHUDDERED
my CLOCK rock hard
——————————
We know she's a MILF. Do you think we're going to forget that in a few sentences? What do you take us for, dummies? Once a MILF, always a MILF. So shut up about it.
The guy you thank for helping you write should be totally embarrassed by now.
Trolls
Did you ever notice that while not all anonymous posters are trolls, almost all trolls are anonymous? It's easy to be a prick when nobody knows your name. Anyway, I am looking forward to your next installment of the Best Present series - it's funny to see how Sandra isn't nearly as smart or in control as she thinks she is.
I
love the dynamic between our hero and Mrs. Raske. The slight surprise when he realizes he isn't the only one who has Sandra hoodwinked. Will his hubris and inexperience lead to tragedy? Or will he be able to empower his dream girl (Allison) by taking control and experience the full potential of a D/s relationship? Lots of smut (which I love) but entrancing nonetheless.
Well done.
@panjetarkan1
Anonymous does have a point
Jasmine thanks TWO editors for their work, and yet basic errors are present in the "published" version
I've thought about ragging on her editors several times, but it just wasn't worth it to me, compared to some of the atrocities foisted off on us here on Literotica, so I AM glad that someone finally called her on her "editors"
More!
You keep creating stories that have me crying out for more. So MORE!!!! Please it would be great =)
MORE!
Please write the next chapter.
allison
she has to be your next conquest or your mother doesnt matter just keep them cummming
The Education >
Well, I would say that the story line is progressing nicely... However, points about in-experience Ring True.... Returning to School might find it's way into a "Multiple Weekend" education about dominance, submission and how to take things to the next level successfully.... Does this mean that the astute nerd agrees to fall submissive to a well experienced Dominatrix or is taken under the wing by a long established Dominant? Do the lessons go beyond simply learning to take and maintain control or do they expand into the many facets of physical and mental Pleasure AND Pain and how to use them ??? We'll all have to wait and see.... I'm pretty confident that the little girls will be "Growing Up" during Summer Break.....
more please, this story gets me going every time i read it
Another great story from you lil one
Please continue wrighting this series
This story is amazing and I need the next story soon
More!
Why is this only a three part series? This is great and needs a fourth part for his mom and Allison! Excellent writing, I just wish there was more
great 3rd part of story but yes need the 4th part mom and allison. please continue story
great job!!!
keep them cumming !!
I loved all three stories. Kept me on the edge each time. Please write more. I hate it when excellent authors leave me hanging. Never knowing how it all ends.
Pretty good, but....
...it could still use some work.
Jasmine, in the previous chapter's comments, you said you were writing this in an American setting. While I think the use of "arse" rather than "ass" was appropriate given Beth's being British, in this chapter, you spoke of Matthew "...exploring every millimetre of her pussy...". If you are writing in American English, we do not use the metric system of measurement, so it should have been "every inch", but even if "millimetre" was appropriate, we spell it as "millimeter" in the US.
Speaking of the arse vs. ass debate, I like how you subtly addressed it in this chapter by having Matthew thinking "...hearing her say arse so much dirtier than ass". I smiled when I read that, having seen the previous comments about its usage. However, that line needed either "is" or a comma between "arse" and "so". Arse and ass should also have been in quotes, as he's thinking of those words being spoken.
The two encounters with Mrs. Raske don't match up. In the first, with the girls, she is a timid sub who is afraid of being caught by her husband. In the second, she doesn't seem to be very submissive at all. Of course, I guess the first encounter could have been all play-acting on her part, since she told Matthew she faked being seduced by Sandra and, thus, could have been continuing that charade. Still, she obviously plays at being submissive to others in order to indulge her husband's cuckold fantasies and didn't really seem all that submissive to Matthew, what with her saying to him"...don't you think it's time to you started calling me Vivian...or do you prefer slut?" The entire second encounter seemed to me to be an experienced cougar playfully indulging her new cub. She never acted as a true submissive would. Matthew never made her do anything she really had any objections to doing. She seemed to be calling the shots, as much as he was.
One other thing that doesn't ring true is Matthew's attraction to Allison as his intellectual and social equal, yet wanting her to be his submissive, as well. Just as he would not submit, I can't believe he'd expect this girl, who he sees as essentially a female version of himself, to submit to him. Not after his turning the tables in the previous chapter allowing the downtrodden Della to take the superior position in the pecking order. Della and Allison are the same, in that they are only submitting for the social attention it brings them, due to their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. From his previous actions, I would think Matthew would want to build Allison's self-esteem and not tear it down further by making her submit sexually to him.
There were several instances of missing punctuation in this and the previous chapters, usually missing quotes or commas, and wording mistakes, such as Vivian saying, "You are really ready for a forth load so soon?". It should have been "fourth load".
In the "Bitch Sister", Matthew was taking photos of a cum-covered Sandra "for prosperity". The phrase you wanted was "for posterity", meaning "for future generations", in other words, recording it as an historical record.
While I've enjoyed this series so far, it needs tighter editing and an editor who knows the differences between American English and the Queen's English.
I am still looking forward to reading about the oft-mentioned submission of Matthew's and Sandra's mother, and Matthew and Allison finally getting together.
I think Matthew should reverse the Allison vs. Sandra dynamic, just as he reversed the Della vs. Sandra one. After all, it was Sandra who started the ball rolling and who, by the end of this saga, should be made to submit to all of her subs in order to prove her true submission to Matthew.
3 part series
I'm guessing this is a 3 parter because the main part of the heading is BEST PRESENT EVER, meaning presents over the holiday season. The rest should just be straight up.
Anyways, I LOVE THESE STORIES!! Keep 'em cummin'!! :-D
best present ever:milf nieghbor
when will best present ever:fucking mom come out
GREAT JOB
needs another chapter
Dark_Storm
Wow
Just wow
Dat comment doo
idk doo spelling it is pronounced like dough
YA MISSED A FEW
MAB7991 for his editing 'EXPERTISE????" Consider:
1. Marathon (marathon)
2. New Year's Ever (ever)
3. PARTED her stocking-clad legs APART
4. my clock rock hard (cock) TICKTOCK????
5. Having came recently (cum)
6. mini-marathon (mini marathon)
7. New Years (Year’s)
8. HEAD of my cock HEAD. (6 words HEAD twice)
9. ring in the New Year (new year)
10.forth load (fourth)
11. long held (long-held)
12. my Mom (mom)
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