All Comments on 'Jamie Goes From Boy To Man Ch. 06'

You should work on using one point of view to tell your story. Please don't take this as a criticism, as I am a fan of your series.

You're constantly switching between first-person and third-person points of view and it can get confusing at times, especially when you mix them together (e.g: Next time, she fantasized, she would get her riding crop out of the closet, then whip me like a race horse and get still more speed out of me as I approached the finish line.) How does Jamie all of a sudden know what she is thinking?

Once again, I say this with all the intent to help improve a good story.

-Wax_Wings

Your thoughts and comments Wax Wings are appreciated more then you know.

You’re right I sometimes do go from first person to third person and back again. This drives my girl friend who is also my editor crazy. I’m afraid you will just have to put this down as another OOPS. I have a lot of them both here and in my real life.

About reading the ladies thought we disagree, I think I’ll claim literary license on this point. My thinking is that it makes for a better read if the reader can look into her thoughts. Especially if those thoughts are naughty. ;-)

Wax Wings I know that your comments were sent in good faith and you only want to help. Readers like you I’m delighted to hear from.

This is a far cry different from the comments made by another person, (Something In The Way She Moves). Those comments are not meant to help at all. The only purpose there is to be obnoxious and rude. While cowardly hiding behind the internet. I should have never engaged that person. To do so only gives them a degree of power. If you simply erase them without comment you effectively castrate them and remove their power.

Once again, Thanks Wax Wings

BB

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