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English
Usual stupid US story.
Monster cocks and DDs. Ugh. Stories like this make me wonder why I even look at this site.
It used to be 90% of the stories are badly-written and completely unarousing.
Now it's 99%. Like this one.
I NEVER bother with stories that ...
... try to make out that the Reader is/was a participant.
Because the Reader KNOWS that he/she was not there/did NOT take part there is absolutely zero believability in the story and it is therefore a complete waste of time bothering to read it!!
1*, because it is the lowest that I can give that will Register!
Fantasy
Hey guys, it's a fantasy. Writing in the second person allows the reader to enter the fantasy - like virtual reality in words. It works fine for me - right down to the mouth feel of cock, and cum running down the throat.
Seems nice
Looks well written and thought out to me. As for the arousing part, I don't know cause I'm not turned on by BBC and BDSM. And I was looking for POV from a nan's perspective.
I only skim read it but the language usage appears good. No blatant grammar mistakes. Hell, it even pokes fun at the "overly straightforward" stories in the beginning.
I find the last paragraph a little disturbing though. If I was the "You", I would prefer to be back to checking emails after reading the story, maybe having realising how wet I must've been while I was reading and that now I have to cleanup my chair and jeans or whatever. Gives me a little comfort.
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