... you couldn't be bothered to do any proof-reading!!!
Examples -
"" I remember how you used to jump into the my bed and wrestle with me ..." 'the my'?
"... she could see no sign of anyone and as you reached in the cabinet to get a ..." - 'as you'?
Sorry but if your 'story' means so little to you that you can't be bothered to proof-read, why should it mean any more to us Readers??
by
Anonymous05/28/13
Good Start
This is a good start for a first time writer. Very good story line and I hope to see you continue writing. There were some errors as someone else pointed out. You may want to contact some of the volunteer editors to check your stories before you post them.
I hope you continue this story.
by
Anonymous05/28/13
More????
Sure hope so!!!
by
Anonymous05/28/13
Good Story
Do something on a similar line let the dad and one of his mates share the daughter but make the story last longer. So stay away from the anal sex it ruins the stories for me.
by
Anonymous05/28/13
I hope for more chapter/s
this story definatly has at least one or two more chapters that could be told being as there could still be some internal struggle (after all sex one time is one thing, realizing that they can't stop and having an even deeper connection is another. realizing they love each other as man and woman while dealing with the connection of father daughter. plus, yes, an eventual pregnancy/baby is also another aspect). i have to say i agree with another poster that the father impregnating the daughter is a good idea. i agree as well with no anal (why because that is so common on this site and well i doubt that everyone in the world is doing anal. lol). i disagree with the father sharing the daughter with a friend or stranger (that is when stories usually start to jump the shark for me). moreover, that type of sl for this story just doesn't at all jive with the over all feel of this tale. i feel more love and yes lust between the father and daughter for that to be realistic.
imo i could see father and mother getting a divorce (or the mother just dies) and father and daughter are married (at least in their hearts). after all the daughter has already in a lot of ways become her father's wife.
by
Anonymous05/31/13
woww
Just what horny 16 years old me needed... mmmm love this story...
English
another chapter please!
I hope you continue this story.
very good inticing
please continue with father getting her pregnant
Shame ...
... you couldn't be bothered to do any proof-reading!!!
Examples -
"" I remember how you used to jump into the my bed and wrestle with me ..." 'the my'?
"... she could see no sign of anyone and as you reached in the cabinet to get a ..." - 'as you'?
Sorry but if your 'story' means so little to you that you can't be bothered to proof-read, why should it mean any more to us Readers??
Good Start
This is a good start for a first time writer. Very good story line and I hope to see you continue writing. There were some errors as someone else pointed out. You may want to contact some of the volunteer editors to check your stories before you post them.
I hope you continue this story.
More????
Sure hope so!!!
Good Story
Do something on a similar line let the dad and one of his mates share the daughter but make the story last longer. So stay away from the anal sex it ruins the stories for me.
I hope for more chapter/s
this story definatly has at least one or two more chapters that could be told being as there could still be some internal struggle (after all sex one time is one thing, realizing that they can't stop and having an even deeper connection is another. realizing they love each other as man and woman while dealing with the connection of father daughter. plus, yes, an eventual pregnancy/baby is also another aspect). i have to say i agree with another poster that the father impregnating the daughter is a good idea. i agree as well with no anal (why because that is so common on this site and well i doubt that everyone in the world is doing anal. lol). i disagree with the father sharing the daughter with a friend or stranger (that is when stories usually start to jump the shark for me). moreover, that type of sl for this story just doesn't at all jive with the over all feel of this tale. i feel more love and yes lust between the father and daughter for that to be realistic.
imo i could see father and mother getting a divorce (or the mother just dies) and father and daughter are married (at least in their hearts). after all the daughter has already in a lot of ways become her father's wife.
woww
Just what horny 16 years old me needed... mmmm love this story...
I liked that.
I felt your tale wiped out the proof reading shortcomings.
That was a story I could enpathise with.
Agree
feel that about my own daughter, but have never gone that far. Shame because life is too short
nice
Good story...
to be continue ?
Please continue the story.
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