It's Never Too Early Ch. 01

And suddenly, it Ends

This story started out so well. Good descriptive narrative, attention to detail and a fine beginning to building up the characters. Then, as soon as our first person narrator cums, it's as if the author looked at the clock and thought, "Damn, I have to be somewhere. I better find a way to finish this." I think this could have been an excellent story. Draw it out more, make your protagonist a little less of a jackass and more a man that this girl wants to bang, and give us a few more pages and a logical ending. Thanks.