by BustyBlonde1
Despite it being well written I could not give a 5 because of not knowing where this one will go .
However I am still looking forward to seeing if the next episode improves on the start.
You have a good writing style, I can't wait to read chapter 2.
Love this story! One comment: when Haleigh saw Matt in the van, she felt "arousal pool in her panties." However, you wrote that when she was abducted, she was only wearing a towel.
Still a great story, though. Can't wait for more!
From
L
JUST REMEMBER THE EVENTS. U CAN'T GO FROM TUB TO TOWEL TO DOOR TO VAN. THEN HAVE WET PANTIES WHILE TIED UP UNLESS THE GUYS DRESSED U WHICH U DIDN'T MENTION. I'M OLD, MY IMAGINATION DON'T STRETCH THAT FAR.( KMSL) GREAT START. KEEP THEM COMING AND MUCH LONGER PLEASE.
But I have to say that despite some of the conflicting details, the best thing about this story is the atmosphere. The sweltering Mississippi heat, the dingy diner, the accents, the sense of impending disaster....awesome! It's all in the little things. Don't lose the atmosphere! And as was previously mentioned, we need to know some more backstory on this guy Matt.
Love,
L
Or wait, maybe it wasn't previously mentioned. My bad. But anyway, I would like to know a little more about how Haleigh used to know this Matt in high school and what all went on back then. Also, I like how you gave us a general idea of what these two looked like and then left it at that. I have an excellent imagination and don't need to be constantly told that "his eyes were green like the Caspian sea," or whatever.
Love,
L
Being from MS, I'm a bit offended at the no AC aspect. Yes, it is hotter than HELL here, but you could have said the AC was broken. Customers are not going to stay in a restaurant that has no air conditioning during the Mississippi summer.