Well written first story chapter. Luke and Jack seem like humorous odd ducks. Perhaps that will be their charm. And dull would be a refreshing read after some of the recent submissions. I look forward to the story that unfolds.
Nice first chapter. Looking forward to what comes next.
by
Anonymous06/08/13
Well, lessthan....
I would say this is justabout perfect. We've needed a nice romance around here lately. You tell the story in a good, clean way. Little bits of detail and humor. The start of strong character building. All around well done. Bravo and thank you. 5*
by
Anonymous06/09/13
You're off to a great start!
Luke and Duke sound like they're destined for love -- at least Luke is quite smitten with Duke's appearance -- the smattering of chest hair, the hairy things, the eyes -- and Duke isn't upset that his roommate is gay. Let them develop their love and their discovery over the year.
Your first chapter had me hooked with you excellent writing voice. You use hilarious turns of phrases and imagery that really endeared me to Luke and piqued my interest. Wonderful writing!
English
Bambi & Duke Meet
Well written first story chapter. Luke and Jack seem like humorous odd ducks. Perhaps that will be their charm. And dull would be a refreshing read after some of the recent submissions. I look forward to the story that unfolds.
Nice first chapter. Looking forward to what comes next.
Well, lessthan....
I would say this is justabout perfect. We've needed a nice romance around here lately. You tell the story in a good, clean way. Little bits of detail and humor. The start of strong character building. All around well done. Bravo and thank you. 5*
You're off to a great start!
Luke and Duke sound like they're destined for love -- at least Luke is quite smitten with Duke's appearance -- the smattering of chest hair, the hairy things, the eyes -- and Duke isn't upset that his roommate is gay. Let them develop their love and their discovery over the year.
I have to agree
For a first starter this is very good so far and am now on to the next chapter in line
Your first chapter had me hooked with you excellent writing voice. You use hilarious turns of phrases and imagery that really endeared me to Luke and piqued my interest. Wonderful writing!
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