All Comments on 'Supergirl Enslaved'

by Wifetheif

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  • 5 Comments
removed110513removed110513over 10 years ago
More details

Honestly, the idea is absolutely amazing. But you should definitely add more details to your stories and be more descriptive about the sexual parts. You just say what they do and the outcome, no details. The idea is great, but the details need to be inserted.

drdominator9drdominator9over 10 years ago
A decent effort

I agree with the first comment. This story has an acceptable plot and buildup but is very short on details, especially the sexual activity. But keep at it. It's an okay start.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Have you ever had sex?

I hate reading sex stories written by people who know nothing about sex. She orgasamed from vaginal penetration because her clit was now vulnerable to a human penis? Do you even know what a clit is or where it is located? If you did, you might know it is not inside the vaginal opening and coming in contact with a penis during penetration. You may want to look that up.

Also, if you are going to try to be technical, look up what you are saying and make sense so you don't sount like a moron. You could have just said he found a way to make kryptonite, but you had to add the 3D printing nonsense. 3D printing does not synthesize anything. It recreates an object using a substance within the machine. So it would be fine to say you used a variation of 3D printing to make all the kryptonite objects by loading the machine with the kryptonite you synthesized. But to say you used 3D printing to actually synthesize kryptonite is stupid.

2p1k32p1k3over 8 years ago
Stockholm Syndrom

I would rather Supergirl be more than a 2 dimensional award. I mean, that her own wants and dreams should impact the scenario. At the very least, even if he is successful after a time Stockholm Syndrom would gradually turn the hate into love. Most especially if the protagonist treated her as his mate instead of his slave/prisoner.

The smoothness of his plan being executed is also blatantly unreasonable. The reason the scenarios of Lex Luthor fail is because his 'pride' keeps him from admitting the possibility of failure. Thus he fails to be ready for when there are 'problems'.

This protagonist has the exact same problem despite his claim to being superior to Lex Luther. Let his plan fail some and extend the story some. Still keep Kara with him but let her graduate to a partner or even wife.

As for Kryptonite allowing for hybrid nephilim. That is unnecessary, I have little knowledge of what the comics say is cannon. However, simple biology suggests she should be able to mate with Humans just as easily as Clark got Wonder Woman pregnant.

The sperm impregnating the ovum is more of a khemikal response than a forced, breaking down the walls, entry. Sure their skin is impregnable even to khemikals but I doubt that extends past the organ that is the skin.

All that said? I enjoyed the read, but I believe the errors I have mentioned keep it from being widely popular and thus worthy of one or two more stars.

Thank you for sharing your time and Force; May you eternally ask the Lady to alight your path.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Possible Supplements

1. Because the children are born on earth, and are half human they are immune to Kryptonite. They could easily use this to conquer him.

2. Perhaps the male profiled in this story can come up with some Gold Kryptonite that would permanently remove Supergirl's powers. This would need to wait until after he had enough kids.

3. Who knows since Superman does not age while he is unfettered, perhaps he could breed with his daughter, giving the kids 75% Kryptonian genes.

4. Finally, perhaps Wonder Woman, sans her Power Belt could be convinced via her lasso to breed with his son giving those kids 1/4 Kryptonian, 1/4 Human, and 1/2 Amazonian genes. You might even be able to build up a future series of battles between the two branches of the family to determine who conquers all.

Anonymous
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