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English
My author note didn't pop up???
This is a factual story put into rhyme.
Typo last line should be "at"not "and"
well done, not a shity piece!
the central idea is excellent, a little more curing and the poem would have been exceptional, don't rush these things, very nice descriptive action of group effort, a little more detail on shitter's transition from vanquished to victor is merited (before he lets loose)
As always thanks :-)
Feedback seems to be about the only thing really lacking here.
I have spoken to the other four gentlemen that were involved in this incident and many others, we are going to have a brainstorming session, involving coronas and a few tequilas to get some more ideas. I am thinking a multi part series, six years of some of the strangest human behaviour that I think needs to be documented for everyones reading amusement, if not then just for mine.
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