All Comments on 'Castaway Ch. 03'

Ahh four people now this could be a start of something.

doesn't have any redeeming qualities so far. He's just a dick. It's almost too late for him and girl to go anywhere romantically.

The reporter's report desperately needs paragraph breaks. Even if its the same speaker you can put in paragraphs. At the end of the paragraph don't put a quotation but you start the new paragraph with a quotation.

Good chapter! too short, but still good. Intrigued by the new characters.

Add more soon! :)

Amar just need to apologize. It will be up to Jasmine to accept the apology or not. At least it will ease some of his guilt. He may end up digging himself deeper since the green-eyed monster has made an appearance.

Why does it have to be so predictable? I'm giving you 5 stars anyway because I want you to continue writing.... not because you earned it

I have no clue what will happen from one chapter to the next and no one else does either. Of course we can guess, but that's about it. I love everything you have written so far. Amar is going to be one of those hard learners. He is very prideful and very attracted to Jasmine which he seems not to want to admit. It will be interesting to see his reasons for his volatile temperament. Can you do a chapter from Amar's point of view? More please!

Amar is a fool but I like him. Jasmine is smart. I have only wish chapter were longer.

I really wish that your chapters were longer! Great as usual!

I have just submitted ch. 4.

I have spent a lot of time in this one because of the feedback that everyone wants longer chapters. It will be coming soon so don't worry. I hope you like the next one because things start to heat up (wink wink). and i tried to have more character development in both as well. Also keep up with the criticism because it is helping me write this story.

Thanks again!!

So I still do like the story...unexpected that you would throw in new characters... Still not sure where your heading with that. I hope you will spend time to write longer chapters so the story will be more cohesive!! You may also want to get an editor to help you along and correct your mistakes. Take your time and don't rush it. Looking forward to your next submission. Good Luck!

When your in the military you learn how to survive in the wild. At least the basics so it makes it kind of hard to believe that he would be so helpless, and have a nurse out smart him in terms of surviving on the. I think he should at least be like "we can catch snakes and frogs and eat it for protein." You know what I mean? I think your dialogue is kind stiff also, and your chapters are so short.

However, you have a great idea going here and it has a lot of potential. I think it would be better to take your time so you can write longer and better chapters. Re-read and edit, re-read and edit. You should also get and editor they can point out errors that you may never notice, because you know what you want to say, but you may not have written what you wanted to say.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck! :D