All Comments on 'Me And My Horny Sister Ch. 02'

by Stewart05

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  • 32 Comments
BigPeteHBigPeteHalmost 11 years ago
i really like this story :D

granted it could be written a little better but that doesn't really bother me, it's still enjoyable to read and pretty hot :D I'm looking forward to more chapters

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
EXCITING Chap 2...

but kept alive the lust, love and romance of chap 1. The changes in mood and statements are what add to the story excitement. From never again; to a short time later "Upstairs...Now!" I felt like I was living the excitement of the moment. Thank you.

sabra16023sabra16023almost 11 years ago
Need More Chapters

You have a good story going, keep it going. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Yes more

Yes please add more chapters. It's getting interesting and I would like to know what ground rules his sister has and I also would like to see where it will go with them. But please don't ruin it by bring in other people as some writers do. Please keep it on the brother and sister!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Still no better than your first effort

Please don't torture us with more of this garbage; either learn to write, or give it up a a bad job. No chance of any stars at all, this sucks big, I'm sorry I read it. Go away

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

Not bad, but it needs more. You definitely could have extended the tension between them while they were talking to their parents. A little more dialogue with them would draw it out better. Still needs some editing and proofreading for grammatical errors. I'd be happy to help with that for later chapters if you'd like.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
HOTT

A little short. Hope you will keep adding chapters and give a more detail.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
So good

Hurry and write more I'm excited to see what happens

Miss_JenniMiss_Jennialmost 11 years ago
hot

Both brother and sister are turning into good fuck buddies, as she is hooked on his cock mmmmmmmmm, great let's have more.....

Stewart05Stewart05almost 11 years agoAuthor
Thanks to Everyone

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who read it ;)

Secondly, I would like to thank all of the people who provided comments, good and bad. Constructive criticism is an important part of writing and I appreciate it immensely, I will be sure to take all comments on board before writing more. This was only my second attempt at writing a story like this, so I'm pretty new with a lot to learn, but I look forward to writing more.

thanks ;)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
sexy

Ya more of this :)

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichalmost 11 years ago
Rules? What rules does he want?

Is her brother going to try to keep her from fucking other guys, and keep her all to himself.

I hope that he can admit to his sister that he is in love with her and wants her and only her from now on.

Perhaps mom and dad wouldn't be upset at all, about the two of them fucking since they are in love with each other,or perhaps mom fucks her brother and dad fucks his sister any time they get a chance and wish they could be together as a big family.

Thanks for the read.

roseloveroselovealmost 11 years ago
why

I dont even hav a brother and this is so hot.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Continue this!

Excellent work. Your writing really drew me in. It made me really feel like the brother!

Keep it up!

steventhegreatsteventhegreatover 10 years ago
Getting better

I read the first chapter and it was pretty good but not great. This chapter I can see improvement in and enjoyed the story more. Please continue

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
keep it up

I like this, it's nice, keep it up

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
DELETE BOTH

do all serious readers and yourself a favor and delete both chapters and run them through a GOOD EDITOR then repost them. as is they suck and are almost unreadable you sound like you poorly translated them from some southeast asian language.

KrazyTaz12KrazyTaz12over 10 years ago
Keep Going with it!

I am not a writer but I Love to read and Am sure you do more but what I Read was good and I am looking forward to reading more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Edit your work NOW

One word that is it otherwise I wouldn't be complaining. You had one job, one job and you screwed it up, I was fine with a few missing commas but 'pyjamas' really?

I'm only trying to help, if you want more people to appreciate your work you have to take the time to read over it. Maybe even ask a trustworthy friend to read over it but honestly I read the previous and you have not improved. But in terms to the story itself I enjoyed it. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
:)

so hot of a story!!! makes me really hard

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
No better than Ch. 01

I read this after the car crash that is Ch.01 The story is thin and underdeveloped. Nothing new in it. But the errors are so bad as to render the thing practically worthless. I only read to the end to spot the errors because you had lost my interest so error strewn is it.

DYNO224DYNO224over 9 years ago
Howdy

I am not an english teacher so I'm not trying to grade your punctuation or spelling.However I do have question's #1 is it normal for a 6' man to have a little 7'' peenie.I am for sure no expert but I do happen to have a pecker ,I'm only 5'8''&1/2 and have bean pole beat by nearly 2''.Just wondering!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
uhm...

Older sister in Ch1, younger in Ch2?

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Me and Sister

Great story so far, don't stop now for it seams as their love for eachother is coming to the surface.Now is the time for you to quit reading and start writing again. I'll keep an eye open for chap. 3 and more . Keep up with the great work !

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
SEX

Keep writing made me and my boyfriend have sex 24/7

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
zzzzzzzzz.......

Short and therefore very boring. And get someone to proofread your story first b4 u add to this.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Made me really horny and masterbate so write more

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Getting better

Keep doing it until you get her pregnant.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Poor

spelling, grammar. It's a shame that kids find it to difficult to proofread, must be an horrendous strain on their physical and mental abilities. It's a sad state of affairs when someone thinks that typing words that appear on a computer screen actually believes that doing so, somehow makes them a writer, and even some believes it makes them an author. (Definitely, they cannot think this is true, as they have proven thinking is beyond their abilities.) At least this kid is not so ashamed of what he types that he doesn't prevent comments.

ScottishTexanScottishTexanalmost 2 years ago

Too short and too rushed. Are they just fucking? Or do they care about each other? You actually lost a full point from the score that I gave you because they both said that their copulation didn't mean anything. I hope that they both were lying to each other.

ScottishTexanScottishTexanover 1 year ago

Yeah, just now noticed that both of these were published back to back many many years ago. A little more than 9 years to be exact.

So this story is what I call an 'Orphan'. Someone started it and never finished it for whatever the reason may have been. It would suit me well if LIT developed an algorithm to detect and find these and delete them all. They serve no purpose since they have no conclusion or ending. Just junk files sitting out there wasting space.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Of course you are doing another chapter....

Anonymous
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