This is one of those stories that if not continued, and continued promptly, will result in an unruly mob at your front door.
No brooding sensitive mate-pining weres here. Are the testosterone dripping thugs just that, or will there be some desperate reason for this behavior? I sure hope when she turns they are sorry they ever plucked her off that sidewalk. She needs to be a bitch in every sense of the word. Rock that pack!
Hey guys thanks for the comments!! I'm glad you guys are liking the character! :) I can't wipe my smile off my face!
Sorry the second chapter hasn't come out yet, honestly this is my first time writing erotica, and first submission on here and I (naively) assumed that, when the submission was approved I would get an email notifying me it was, which doesn't happen haha, and so I didn't even realise it was up!
Buuttt I am writing the second chapter now, and plan to blast it out asap! :) Within 24hrs of this post I promise! ^^
by
Anonymous06/30/13
Freaking Unbelievable=)
If that's the opening I might just die of ecstasy before the end.
Hey everyone so I submitted my story yesterday as promised! :) but it occurred to me some of you might be wondering why it isn't up yet and think I'm lying! So just an FYI, when you post a story on Literotica, you submit it, but before it goes online and becomes available to read, it needs to be approved by Literotica (they check length, grammar, spelling, copyright I assume and whatnot from what I understand.)
So that takes approx 3-7 days depending on how many stories are awaiting approval and are on the list, so hopefully it will be approved soon!
You have a good start but you need to work on your grammar; especially in coma placement.
/They had to be about 6'4-6'5, and were built like brick shithouses.
I get what you're trying to say, but others not familiar with this description may not get it. I'd find another way to describe them.
Speaking of descriptions, I don't know much about Elle at all other than she's a waitress. Give us some more info about her. What does she look like? What are her long term goals?
Don't give us numerical/statistical list. Weave her description into the story with words. I now you are better than this, but sweartogod if you mention a numerical boob size I'll throw something heavy through the computer at you. Just saying....:D
@FA_JF ha don't worry I promise no numerical boob description! I wasn't quite sure where you were talking about with the numerical/statistical list (not that I am denying its existence haha) would you mind giving me an example of where I did it?? :)
@EroticWitch true I will try to avoid colloquial expressions ie brick shithouse from now on! Thanks! And yes I can be a bit comma heavy, :P I'll do a cull on my chapters before I post to avoid it! There is more about her physically at least in the next chapter, but I will try to also give you guys more about her as a person! I guess I just, I'm not sure how to do it quickly without just spelling it out for the reader you know? I don't want to have paragraphs of just explaining who she is, instead of revealing it in the story. I suppose it's a delicate balance of revealing enough to keep you guys interested/liking her character without giving away to much!!
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback and very much for the constructive criticism, I really appreciate the comments, keep em coming!!! ^^
by
Anonymous07/08/13
To the previous anon who said it feels like they've read this before, they have, it's like EVERY other damsel in distress story here! Its not hot, its not original, its boring and painfully hard to read with all the errors! I'd suggest getting an editor BEFORE posting anymore.
by
Anonymous06/14/14
Love it! Can't wait to read more.
by
Anonymous07/25/14
Great so far...
Other than a few grammatical errors, this is a great beginning. And it's perfectly all right not to have any sex in the opening chapter. The story so far is good enough to keep us reading. Great job.
The story isn't bad, but it gets a little confusing when the character is thinking to herself and you use " ". Next update, try typing in italics for thoughts or use ' ' instead of " ". Other than that, the story is starting off goo.
So about 3 lines in I realised I'd read your story before. Figured I'd read it again anyway and I'm still just as intrigued as the first time to see what comes next. Onwards to chapter 2.
English
i enjoyed reading that chapter, it made me giggle , like her spunky attitude
Its a good start, finally a Lit female character who fights back, looking forward to more chapters.
mnn spunky as a human.
if she's like this as a human. she needs to be one kick as bitch as a were. make that wolf regret the day he took humans. especially her.
"That's it?"
LMAO! Keep going :)
Can't wait for the next chapter....I love her attitude, she cracks me up.
So Far So Good
Liking this so far, sounds like she might be an Alpha
ThIs is great
This girl gots balls I love her please keep writing
wow this is nothing like any wolf story i've read before. i can't wait for more please keep them coming
MORE
Hurry great start.
Holy Crap!
That is some serious Awesomesauce!
This is one of those stories that if not continued, and continued promptly, will result in an unruly mob at your front door.
No brooding sensitive mate-pining weres here. Are the testosterone dripping thugs just that, or will there be some desperate reason for this behavior? I sure hope when she turns they are sorry they ever plucked her off that sidewalk. She needs to be a bitch in every sense of the word. Rock that pack!
*sits and waits for next chapter*
Thanks everyone!!
Hey guys thanks for the comments!! I'm glad you guys are liking the character! :) I can't wipe my smile off my face!
Sorry the second chapter hasn't come out yet, honestly this is my first time writing erotica, and first submission on here and I (naively) assumed that, when the submission was approved I would get an email notifying me it was, which doesn't happen haha, and so I didn't even realise it was up!
Buuttt I am writing the second chapter now, and plan to blast it out asap! :) Within 24hrs of this post I promise! ^^
Freaking Unbelievable=)
If that's the opening I might just die of ecstasy before the end.
Great beginning!!!
And waiting for more. I hope you update soon!
Submitted and approval pending :)
Hey everyone so I submitted my story yesterday as promised! :) but it occurred to me some of you might be wondering why it isn't up yet and think I'm lying! So just an FYI, when you post a story on Literotica, you submit it, but before it goes online and becomes available to read, it needs to be approved by Literotica (they check length, grammar, spelling, copyright I assume and whatnot from what I understand.)
So that takes approx 3-7 days depending on how many stories are awaiting approval and are on the list, so hopefully it will be approved soon!
Thanks for update. Can't wait:-)
MORE!!
LOVE IT!!!
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
wow
can't wait to find out what happens next. I have to agree with the lead female, these guys are fucked up. hopefully, it won't be all doom and gloom.
I feel like I've read this before
Good start. Needs work
You have a good start but you need to work on your grammar; especially in coma placement.
/They had to be about 6'4-6'5, and were built like brick shithouses.
I get what you're trying to say, but others not familiar with this description may not get it. I'd find another way to describe them.
Speaking of descriptions, I don't know much about Elle at all other than she's a waitress. Give us some more info about her. What does she look like? What are her long term goals?
Yes more info about her but
Don't give us numerical/statistical list. Weave her description into the story with words. I now you are better than this, but sweartogod if you mention a numerical boob size I'll throw something heavy through the computer at you. Just saying....:D
Feedback
@FA_JF ha don't worry I promise no numerical boob description! I wasn't quite sure where you were talking about with the numerical/statistical list (not that I am denying its existence haha) would you mind giving me an example of where I did it?? :)
@EroticWitch true I will try to avoid colloquial expressions ie brick shithouse from now on! Thanks! And yes I can be a bit comma heavy, :P I'll do a cull on my chapters before I post to avoid it! There is more about her physically at least in the next chapter, but I will try to also give you guys more about her as a person! I guess I just, I'm not sure how to do it quickly without just spelling it out for the reader you know? I don't want to have paragraphs of just explaining who she is, instead of revealing it in the story. I suppose it's a delicate balance of revealing enough to keep you guys interested/liking her character without giving away to much!!
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback and very much for the constructive criticism, I really appreciate the comments, keep em coming!!! ^^
To the previous anon who said it feels like they've read this before, they have, it's like EVERY other damsel in distress story here! Its not hot, its not original, its boring and painfully hard to read with all the errors! I'd suggest getting an editor BEFORE posting anymore.
Love it! Can't wait to read more.
Great so far...
Other than a few grammatical errors, this is a great beginning. And it's perfectly all right not to have any sex in the opening chapter. The story so far is good enough to keep us reading. Great job.
suggestion
The story isn't bad, but it gets a little confusing when the character is thinking to herself and you use " ". Next update, try typing in italics for thoughts or use ' ' instead of " ". Other than that, the story is starting off goo.
2nd time around still good
So about 3 lines in I realised I'd read your story before. Figured I'd read it again anyway and I'm still just as intrigued as the first time to see what comes next. Onwards to chapter 2.
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