'Agree with Mark and Wanker: lots of possibilities here - just don't get into the nasty stuff too much. A little bit can add titillation, but a lot is simply gross. And do reread and edit, or get a friend to do it.
by
Anonymous06/24/13
rewrite and edit
if you can't be bothered to edit your story properly before posting then why should we bother to read them? either do it right or not at all, this is so bad a grade schooler would be flunked for handing it in.
"Dreaming for My Sister": Patrick and Amy - (Brother and Sister)
As previous reader's comments have noted, the grammar, spelling, punctuation and other basic writing skills are absent and missing!! Ten, fifteen maybe twenty years ago and beforer, the construction of this story would not have passed fifth grade English! Today's educators, instructors, teachers and even college professors don't know nor can pass sixth grade English!! That is unfortunate, and worse, most of the problem is not the fault of the child or student!!,.
The story theme and plot are okay. The dialogue and banter between the main characters, siblings Patrick and Amy, is passable but pretty elementary and rudimentary.
Other reader's comments mentioned, and I whole heartedly agree, keep your stories of carnal, incestual sex to the basic of the story of incest!! Blood-related, carnal incest is NOT about BDSM (whether light, medium or heay) threesomes, lesbians, gays, anal, etc., etc.!! If you wish to write details about anything other than incest, there are other categories, genre's and selections to place those story ideas and themes, but not Incest/Taboo!! The category Incest/Taboo is about incest which is a taboo subject! Bottom line!
You the writer needs an editor! Spell checkier does not cure any problems, except to inform if A WORD is spelled correct or not. Spell checker does not tell you if the word is or is not being used properly, for example, "too" and "to" and "two", or "due" and "do", or "of" and "off", or "there" and "their" and "they're"!!
Keep writing. You'll get it eventually and probably will be a good to great wirter!
by
Anonymous06/24/13
Sorry "bigdaddyg123" but ...
... you need to pay far closer attention to your own spelling!!
Certainly the gist of what you were saying was absolutely correct and the story was riddled with errors but the issue rather breaks down when you correct one person's spelling whilst making a hash of your own!!
The one stupidity that galled me was the repeated use of the word 'where' when "Jamaicaman516" SHOULD have used 'were'!
Frankly, how anyone can 'favorite' such a story leaves me wondering about THEIR reading abilities!!
by
Anonymous06/24/13
To: Wanker12
"Errors", not "error's".
:-)
by
Anonymous06/24/13
Couldn't enjoy it
because of all the spelling errors.
by
Anonymous06/25/13
I suppose,
you'll just have to have more dreams!
by
Anonymous06/25/13
Errors
You need to transcribe your story so someone else can type it using correct
spelling and grammar. Nice story, waiting for the next chapter.
by
Anonymous06/25/13
Dude, get an editor
This is an ok start, but it is so poorly written from a technical standpoint it's hard to enjoy it fully. First of all, the past tense of "take" is "took", not "toke". Secondly, make sure you don't type "here" when you mean to type "her". (I wiah I knew how many times I've seen that on this site.) And I don't know what what was up with sentence where the brother said part of him was freaked out, if that's what you were trying to say. Other serious errors have been pointed out in other posts, so I won't rehash them all, but you seriously need to get someone to help you with your writing skills because they are awful. Your story telling isn't great, but it appears to be at least passable for a start. Hard to tell, though, from this short offering. If you do continue this, please get someone to edit and,like others have said, keep the bdsm to a minimum--only as much as is necessary for that aspect of the story.
by
Anonymous11/29/15
SO MANY MISTAKES, SO LITTLE CONTENT
chance (of) this happening
Grandmothers room (grandmother’s)
keep sakes (keepsakes)
eggs in here pussy (her)
I was also to some part of be freaked (POORLY EXPRESSED)
I toke in pic (took) (the picture)
gag's (gags)
you where (were)
said matter (of) factly
much they hanged (hung)
what not (whatnot)
goodwill (Goodwill)
convince her of doing it with me (to do)
chances of their (there)
girl friends (girlfriends)
Than after going (Then)
pay dirt (paydirt)
toke the erotic sight (took in)
as a brother is supposed (to)
I put the backed out of the pics (POORLY EXPRESSED)
doing horse choirs (chores)
where I should pick (-off) (up)
English
Proofread it please
I realize not many people here are professional writers. But typos are distracting. Other then that, good start.
Good
Your basic premise is believable which opens many doors in the future but please have somebody read it for error's.
Edit
'Agree with Mark and Wanker: lots of possibilities here - just don't get into the nasty stuff too much. A little bit can add titillation, but a lot is simply gross. And do reread and edit, or get a friend to do it.
rewrite and edit
if you can't be bothered to edit your story properly before posting then why should we bother to read them? either do it right or not at all, this is so bad a grade schooler would be flunked for handing it in.
"Dreaming for My Sister": Patrick and Amy - (Brother and Sister)
As previous reader's comments have noted, the grammar, spelling, punctuation and other basic writing skills are absent and missing!! Ten, fifteen maybe twenty years ago and beforer, the construction of this story would not have passed fifth grade English! Today's educators, instructors, teachers and even college professors don't know nor can pass sixth grade English!! That is unfortunate, and worse, most of the problem is not the fault of the child or student!!,.
The story theme and plot are okay. The dialogue and banter between the main characters, siblings Patrick and Amy, is passable but pretty elementary and rudimentary.
Other reader's comments mentioned, and I whole heartedly agree, keep your stories of carnal, incestual sex to the basic of the story of incest!! Blood-related, carnal incest is NOT about BDSM (whether light, medium or heay) threesomes, lesbians, gays, anal, etc., etc.!! If you wish to write details about anything other than incest, there are other categories, genre's and selections to place those story ideas and themes, but not Incest/Taboo!! The category Incest/Taboo is about incest which is a taboo subject! Bottom line!
You the writer needs an editor! Spell checkier does not cure any problems, except to inform if A WORD is spelled correct or not. Spell checker does not tell you if the word is or is not being used properly, for example, "too" and "to" and "two", or "due" and "do", or "of" and "off", or "there" and "their" and "they're"!!
Keep writing. You'll get it eventually and probably will be a good to great wirter!
Sorry "bigdaddyg123" but ...
... you need to pay far closer attention to your own spelling!!
Certainly the gist of what you were saying was absolutely correct and the story was riddled with errors but the issue rather breaks down when you correct one person's spelling whilst making a hash of your own!!
The one stupidity that galled me was the repeated use of the word 'where' when "Jamaicaman516" SHOULD have used 'were'!
Frankly, how anyone can 'favorite' such a story leaves me wondering about THEIR reading abilities!!
To: Wanker12
"Errors", not "error's".
:-)
Couldn't enjoy it
because of all the spelling errors.
I suppose,
you'll just have to have more dreams!
Errors
You need to transcribe your story so someone else can type it using correct
spelling and grammar. Nice story, waiting for the next chapter.
Dude, get an editor
This is an ok start, but it is so poorly written from a technical standpoint it's hard to enjoy it fully. First of all, the past tense of "take" is "took", not "toke". Secondly, make sure you don't type "here" when you mean to type "her". (I wiah I knew how many times I've seen that on this site.) And I don't know what what was up with sentence where the brother said part of him was freaked out, if that's what you were trying to say. Other serious errors have been pointed out in other posts, so I won't rehash them all, but you seriously need to get someone to help you with your writing skills because they are awful. Your story telling isn't great, but it appears to be at least passable for a start. Hard to tell, though, from this short offering. If you do continue this, please get someone to edit and,like others have said, keep the bdsm to a minimum--only as much as is necessary for that aspect of the story.
SO MANY MISTAKES, SO LITTLE CONTENT
chance (of) this happening
Grandmothers room (grandmother’s)
keep sakes (keepsakes)
eggs in here pussy (her)
I was also to some part of be freaked (POORLY EXPRESSED)
I toke in pic (took) (the picture)
gag's (gags)
you where (were)
said matter (of) factly
much they hanged (hung)
what not (whatnot)
goodwill (Goodwill)
convince her of doing it with me (to do)
chances of their (there)
girl friends (girlfriends)
Than after going (Then)
pay dirt (paydirt)
toke the erotic sight (took in)
as a brother is supposed (to)
I put the backed out of the pics (POORLY EXPRESSED)
doing horse choirs (chores)
where I should pick (-off) (up)
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