Nope, no improvement what so ever!
Ch 1 wasn't great, but this is just terrible.
I think you might be better as a reader. Erotic writing is not for everyone and your gift might lie in other areas.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! orBack to Viviane 02 orMore submissions by Tiresias07.
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English
Nope, no improvement what so ever!
Terrible
Ch 1 wasn't great, but this is just terrible.
Suggestion
I think you might be better as a reader. Erotic writing is not for everyone and your gift might lie in other areas.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Viviane 02 or
More submissions by Tiresias07.