great work!!!looking forward for part two for those beautiful ladies..you should make another part of this one and they should end together..lol...luv this work of yours..
by
Anonymous07/02/13
Grammar needs work,
Also the pacing was a little fast, and there was a bit too many "hahaha"s think about how a real book would write dialog, it's not like real world speech, or texting your friends. I like the plot of it though, good job.
English
wow!! hot!!
great work!!!looking forward for part two for those beautiful ladies..you should make another part of this one and they should end together..lol...luv this work of yours..
Grammar needs work,
Also the pacing was a little fast, and there was a bit too many "hahaha"s think about how a real book would write dialog, it's not like real world speech, or texting your friends. I like the plot of it though, good job.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Girl At The Punk Show or
More submissions by EvaHellCat69.