All Comments on 'Sunset Kiss Ch. 03'

by Mistress_Sabrina

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Make me feel it

I love the characters, and how the story is progressing so far, but it's missing that spark. When you write the kissing, and everything else for that matter, go into great detail. For example, " As Wyatt leaned in for the kiss, Sarah met his approach with great anticipation. On that fateful moment their lips met, a harmony of sensations erupted. The warmth of the kiss causing such passion their knees grew weak. Sarah then brought her hands around Wyatt's neck, longing for the warmth of his body against hers. Wyatt loved the way she took charge, a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. He also loved how he could feel her fast beating heart against his own accelerated beat. " Stuff like that will imurse your reader into your writing.

rightbankrightbankover 8 years ago
I agree with the previous post

I am liking it, what there is of it, but who are these people? What do they like? What do they look like? Let us get to know them. Help us care about them.

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