this would have been a great story if the husband had some balls
I come in a room and my wife is hugged up with another man. I ask whats going on and the whore tells me that this is her next husband. I do nothing but leave, humm pussy move number one. Then my soon to be ex-father in law comes to my house to save me from being served divorce papers, how fucking nice. Pussy move number two. Mattuk atleast let them go out like men. But I did give it a 4.
Some very strange people so far and interesting events. I will follow it on, with fear in my heart....
by
Anonymous07/03/13
wow a one page chapter how difficult to get thru
a fair introductory paragraph to the story. u simply set a scene and stopped. I prefer complete stories or at least enough information in a chapter to hold interest till the writer gets around to posting the next one page chapter. I can see this story at this rate having 8 one page chapters. Almost enough for one single posting. When the writer post a serial story and waits on comments to write the next chapter u know they are out of ideas
by
Anonymous07/03/13
really would you
expect her to stay with the husband from what i read he was slow or as they say nowadays mentally challenged, maybe he hit his head and the author forgot to mention it because nobody could be that stupid unless it is the person who said this was a good story.
by
Anonymous07/03/13
It's hard to say you are actually dumber than a mentally ill person but the husband sure as fuck pulled it off! He's not just an idiot either but clueless and wimpy. Come to think of it is there anything good about this guy?
dont ever write a book review after reading the first chapter so i will wait for this to finish.
good setup. like the husband, just some average nice guy that got hit in the gut when he was not looking. hate charles, he can get an article 15 and kill his future in the military for seducing another man's wife. hate the book store owner for setting her up.
the parents are even lower on the acceptable list.
rosie is a cheating cunt and i dont belive she was not fucking the guy.
but i will wait for it all.
but what the fuck is this one page chapter shit dude? write it all at once next time, we can handle four big pages at once.
6 of 1 and one half of another. you wrote a cheating piece of garbage for the wife and i hope this ends better than the sticky wicket - which had a great setup but a little mild on the flip flop, but enjoyable.
by
Anonymous07/03/13
??
Jim's trying to make sense out of his life.
I can relate to that. I'm trying to make sense out of this story.
by
Anonymous07/03/13
She cheated emotionally but not physically.
So, move on. Get laid, get drunk and live. Because divorce happens and the only thing you can do is pick up the pieces.
So stop being such a fucking pussy. And for the record, if Rosie is autistic, she would be more of a challenge.
by
Anonymous07/03/13
Careful...
...with the autism stuff. There are one hell of a lot of people affected by it, one way or another, so you could end up getting some serious grief, especially as you've already set up the autistic character to be the cheater. Also, it's too short to be a chapter in a series. That aside, interesting concept, and maybe we'll get a fucking clue about the title in the next instalment!
some of the comments ... obviously some of you really enjoy the anonymity of the Internet. You all do realize this is chapter 1 right? You are going to give the author a chance to develop the story before being judge, jury and executioner?
by
Anonymous07/03/13
Me too
Had a wife like that.... 20 years and then sehe told me on Tuesday and left on saturday, leaving our daughter and me to find our own way... came back into her daughter's life 4 years later and could not find any compassion from her daughter or me. She did find a big prick to keep her hole filled and seems quite happy.. So is life.
This was a good start for a tale but it needs editing and needs to be completed. There was no closure. Did you intend to leave so much unfinished structure to the audience's imagination? I applaude your effort but if you want to be taken seriously and be read in the future you need to do some work on this one.
by
Anonymous07/03/13
I can't see how he came off badly in this - he got out of a short three year marriage, kept his time, no kids tying him to her, and instead of allowing himself to be trapped into a cucking relationship, got out without financial repercussions and is able to walk away and maybe hook up with his old girlfriend or someone new. The only way I could see it as other than the standard cheating wife with an autistic twist arrangement is if she's actually loaded and didn't know it. Which is kind of fucking dumb, and tells you just how much of a parasite mentality his lawyer has, if true.
On a side note, since you're playing up the nature and nurture angle, I'm going to tell you the same thing the other reader did - be very careful. It's easy to be very insulting without realizing it, and if this turns into some plot twist like she was faking it all along or isn't *really* autistic but the way she is because of parents when the parents made it very clear they didn't raise her that way, that's just exploiting the autism angle for cheap sympathy for the cheated hubby. She cheated on him - that's more than enough to make her a villain all by itself, no matter what her autism. Autistic people can and do learn right from wrong. even if the social connotations elude them.
by
Anonymous07/04/13
Good Start
This is very interesting. I have been reading since the last millennium and have never seen the like, on this site.
I applaud the author . Admire your boldness .I have read MUK stories before and enjoyed their creative writing. Even when the story is to my taste.
We must give him a chance to express himself.
A 1 page chapter does beg the question ; do you know where you are going or are you waiting for our comment ?? There is no wrong answer . It all depends on you and how you write.
Personally I believe giving us Rosie' thoughts
and feelings towards her husband and her parents would be as rewarding as it would be difficult. But what an awesome creative opportunity. Did she realize she was being bad ? Or is just being 'normal' like she was taught ?
I will wait to see how you resolve this. Angie is highly probable, but will you delay it for decades or let them have fun in their relative youth? Something tells me she can't have kids. No explanation given yet why they did not stay together. She seems to be some sort of missionary. Possibly still virgin.
I am not sure where you are going with Rosie. She is quirky, yet there seems to be another agenda aside from autism for her to cheat on Jim, and why a military man? As others have commented, be careful there, the autism angle could bite your ass. Glad she said she would never physically cheat, but as I said there is something very odd here. If she is a bitch autism or not she needs to be shown the error.
I just hope you do not wimp him out, or do something totally ridiculous which sadly is what ruined your other stories.
Keep it reasonably real, please?
Anyone who knows a person with Aspergers/Autism spectrum understands they have a black & white view of the world. She loved him until she did not. Logically she must leave if she found someone she loved.
In her world staying with someone you did not love when there was someone you did love would be wrong, just like cheating while married would be wrong.
Daring to mix autism with this genre. Now I will be daring and say that it is unwise to enter into relationships with people who are mentally defective in one way or another. Before, anyone starts with the "everyone has problems" crap, I will say that is simply not true. People with diagnose-able conditions are going to be a burden. They may bring something to a relationship, but most often they are a drain. This is my personal anecdotal experience as well as well documented experience of mental health professionals. So, Jim is better off with out his weird wife. He needs to move on to find someone in the norm.
English
A good start.....
Am looking forward to the next installment.
I like you as a writer but
this story really ended strangely or maybe too abruptly?
Not long enough
Interesting
A good start but I hope that she pays for being a heart breaker.
Thanks***
For the story. Please finish it!!!
A great start
A great start Matt. I'm looking forward to reading Part 2. Thank you
Wow
It seemed that Rosie and her parents were autistic. Either that or fucking nuts. Excellent first chapter. Please continue...
Canal boat
Will they live on one?
Enjoyed it
An interesting story. I have no clue where this is going.
THE RADIO AND GRAPEVINES
contain a lot of news, but little hopes. TK U MLJ LV NV
this would have been a great story if the husband had some balls
I come in a room and my wife is hugged up with another man. I ask whats going on and the whore tells me that this is her next husband. I do nothing but leave, humm pussy move number one. Then my soon to be ex-father in law comes to my house to save me from being served divorce papers, how fucking nice. Pussy move number two. Mattuk atleast let them go out like men. But I did give it a 4.
Nice Storytelling
Some very strange people so far and interesting events. I will follow it on, with fear in my heart....
wow a one page chapter how difficult to get thru
a fair introductory paragraph to the story. u simply set a scene and stopped. I prefer complete stories or at least enough information in a chapter to hold interest till the writer gets around to posting the next one page chapter. I can see this story at this rate having 8 one page chapters. Almost enough for one single posting. When the writer post a serial story and waits on comments to write the next chapter u know they are out of ideas
really would you
expect her to stay with the husband from what i read he was slow or as they say nowadays mentally challenged, maybe he hit his head and the author forgot to mention it because nobody could be that stupid unless it is the person who said this was a good story.
It's hard to say you are actually dumber than a mentally ill person but the husband sure as fuck pulled it off! He's not just an idiot either but clueless and wimpy. Come to think of it is there anything good about this guy?
Charles is going to die and Rosie and her parents are going expect him to forgive and forget because that is how socially inept they are...
dont ever write a book review after reading the first chapter so i will wait for this to finish.
good setup. like the husband, just some average nice guy that got hit in the gut when he was not looking. hate charles, he can get an article 15 and kill his future in the military for seducing another man's wife. hate the book store owner for setting her up.
the parents are even lower on the acceptable list.
rosie is a cheating cunt and i dont belive she was not fucking the guy.
but i will wait for it all.
but what the fuck is this one page chapter shit dude? write it all at once next time, we can handle four big pages at once.
BTW Rosie was not mentally ill
She was autistic. There's a big difference.
6 of 1 and one half of another. you wrote a cheating piece of garbage for the wife and i hope this ends better than the sticky wicket - which had a great setup but a little mild on the flip flop, but enjoyable.
??
Jim's trying to make sense out of his life.
I can relate to that. I'm trying to make sense out of this story.
She cheated emotionally but not physically.
So, move on. Get laid, get drunk and live. Because divorce happens and the only thing you can do is pick up the pieces.
So stop being such a fucking pussy. And for the record, if Rosie is autistic, she would be more of a challenge.
Careful...
...with the autism stuff. There are one hell of a lot of people affected by it, one way or another, so you could end up getting some serious grief, especially as you've already set up the autistic character to be the cheater. Also, it's too short to be a chapter in a series. That aside, interesting concept, and maybe we'll get a fucking clue about the title in the next instalment!
Do you plan to finish this story?
So incomplete did your mind stop working?
wow ...
some of the comments ... obviously some of you really enjoy the anonymity of the Internet. You all do realize this is chapter 1 right? You are going to give the author a chance to develop the story before being judge, jury and executioner?
Me too
Had a wife like that.... 20 years and then sehe told me on Tuesday and left on saturday, leaving our daughter and me to find our own way... came back into her daughter's life 4 years later and could not find any compassion from her daughter or me. She did find a big prick to keep her hole filled and seems quite happy.. So is life.
A Story With Possibilities
This was a good start for a tale but it needs editing and needs to be completed. There was no closure. Did you intend to leave so much unfinished structure to the audience's imagination? I applaude your effort but if you want to be taken seriously and be read in the future you need to do some work on this one.
I can't see how he came off badly in this - he got out of a short three year marriage, kept his time, no kids tying him to her, and instead of allowing himself to be trapped into a cucking relationship, got out without financial repercussions and is able to walk away and maybe hook up with his old girlfriend or someone new. The only way I could see it as other than the standard cheating wife with an autistic twist arrangement is if she's actually loaded and didn't know it. Which is kind of fucking dumb, and tells you just how much of a parasite mentality his lawyer has, if true.
On a side note, since you're playing up the nature and nurture angle, I'm going to tell you the same thing the other reader did - be very careful. It's easy to be very insulting without realizing it, and if this turns into some plot twist like she was faking it all along or isn't *really* autistic but the way she is because of parents when the parents made it very clear they didn't raise her that way, that's just exploiting the autism angle for cheap sympathy for the cheated hubby. She cheated on him - that's more than enough to make her a villain all by itself, no matter what her autism. Autistic people can and do learn right from wrong. even if the social connotations elude them.
Good Start
This is very interesting. I have been reading since the last millennium and have never seen the like, on this site.
I applaud the author . Admire your boldness .I have read MUK stories before and enjoyed their creative writing. Even when the story is to my taste.
We must give him a chance to express himself.
A 1 page chapter does beg the question ; do you know where you are going or are you waiting for our comment ?? There is no wrong answer . It all depends on you and how you write.
Personally I believe giving us Rosie' thoughts
and feelings towards her husband and her parents would be as rewarding as it would be difficult. But what an awesome creative opportunity. Did she realize she was being bad ? Or is just being 'normal' like she was taught ?
I am looking forward to the next chapter, MUK.
Your eager reader from Illinois in the U. S.
A Merry Man
ow you write.
You've got me hooked,
I hope you don't keep us waiting too long.
Very short
I will wait to see how you resolve this. Angie is highly probable, but will you delay it for decades or let them have fun in their relative youth? Something tells me she can't have kids. No explanation given yet why they did not stay together. She seems to be some sort of missionary. Possibly still virgin.
I am not sure where you are going with Rosie. She is quirky, yet there seems to be another agenda aside from autism for her to cheat on Jim, and why a military man? As others have commented, be careful there, the autism angle could bite your ass. Glad she said she would never physically cheat, but as I said there is something very odd here. If she is a bitch autism or not she needs to be shown the error.
I just hope you do not wimp him out, or do something totally ridiculous which sadly is what ruined your other stories.
Keep it reasonably real, please?
Realistic Autism character
This was good start to fine story.
Anyone who knows a person with Aspergers/Autism spectrum understands they have a black & white view of the world. She loved him until she did not. Logically she must leave if she found someone she loved.
In her world staying with someone you did not love when there was someone you did love would be wrong, just like cheating while married would be wrong.
Look forward to next chapters
Thanks for all the comments
And by the way, Rosie's behaviour is not out of question for someone who is autistic. Trust me, I know...
Short and not so sweet!
Ch 2 please!
Interesting
Daring to mix autism with this genre. Now I will be daring and say that it is unwise to enter into relationships with people who are mentally defective in one way or another. Before, anyone starts with the "everyone has problems" crap, I will say that is simply not true. People with diagnose-able conditions are going to be a burden. They may bring something to a relationship, but most often they are a drain. This is my personal anecdotal experience as well as well documented experience of mental health professionals. So, Jim is better off with out his weird wife. He needs to move on to find someone in the norm.
Second chapter
This is a good start...........
Lit - erotica
Lit? OK
Erotica? Nope...at least, not yet.
Odd about Angie sending her apologies...not a lot of guys invite their old flames to their weddings.
@lickideesplit
It says they were in the friend zone, so she was more than just "an old flame."
Too Short
I see there is a second chapter, but even for a first chapter this was too short.
Frankly, I would have burned the wedding albums on Rosie's lawn, and would have at least tried to sell the trinkets rather than just trash them!
And how does the title figure in?
THE RADIO
mankinds newest and latest back fence gossiper. TK U MLJ LV NV
Thank your for our comment, KarenE
In answer to your question, you will need to read Chapter 2 to discover the relevance of the title of the story.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Heard it on the Radio Ch. 01 or
More submissions by MattblackUK.