All Comments on 'Because I Care'

Keep up the good work! I loved the story even with a few grammatical errors. This is better than most of the stories that get published on LitE. Yes, an editor & proofreader is always a good idea. Regarding the post from "Anon..."; it looks like he could use a little grammatical help as well. If you are going to bash another's writing at least don't make glaring errors in your complaint. And have the guts to sign your name.

You've written a great story. I look forward to more.

You thought it cute somehow to bully the author of a story about the evils of bullying?

For the record, I had not noticed the excessive use of "..." until you mentioned it, after which I looked, and you are right about that. Couldn't you have made that point without demeaning the author?

This author has posted 31 stories and 25 of them have "earned" a red H showing they are hot!! Also, if you look at their biography you would see they are definitely not a kid!

A good author who makes a few grammer mistakes is still WAY ahead of the ignorant commenter. There was no good reason to make a degrading comment.

Sorry, I don't have a user account but I will give my name.

Dave

You captured not only the pain but the joy.

Note to all those other silly little grammar nazis out there, editors and proof readers are easier to find than people who can create emotion.

Can you do a love story about Franny? That would be awesome! It would be great to read a story about her emotional healing and her finding a man who loves her truly.

"kids

Why do the kids keep getting stories posted? Go back to first grade and learn the extreme very basics of grammar. All the "..." used ultra frequently improperly for unknown reason other than to confuse or clean some mind block of the author is rotten and stupid. Notice idiot the proper method to indicate a pause is by a coma, if a change in thought either end the sentence or use a semi-colon.

Get and editor and/or learn proper grammar before posting another story."

Well anon YOU idiot, you may want to get an editor for YOUR own comments, particularly the bit about commas! I notice, you idiot, that YOU failed to used them in YOUR own comment. So fuck off and go back to school yourself!

I for one enjoyed the story, yes '...' was over used, but it in no way took away from an otherwise well written story. 5*

Ignor the minor grammatical issues - just enjoy the flow of a touching and well crafted tale. Nice work!

Sorry if my use of "..." vexes you so much. I only used it because my characters faltered when they spoke, forcing them to pause often. The dialogue was halting as they searched for the right words to speak, discarding approaches to take others. I only tried to make it more realistic, because, while I can take my time and write, making things flow, my own speaking tends to turn out that way, and I wanted to use that.

My father, a great writer, English Lit Professor, and Ph.D., said the most important thing an author can create is to evoke an emotional response from the reader. You managed to do that. As a writer myself, I'm happy to see that you chose to show that emotion over just the sex. That's a pathway to being a great writer.

but was still somehow a senior at age 18? what age do you think people normally graduate high school at? 15?

Some people graduate at seventeen, but yeah, I see what you mean. Sorry about that. Hell, I graduated at eighteen, almost nineteen, as my B-day is in July. and I failed two grades, so I used that.

Very well told. You put so much emotion into your characters it's easy to follow their slightly hasty relationship. Beautiful sex too. Wants a sequel - but I get the idea of leaving the reader to ponder.

The dialogues are excellent. Very convincing voices, that match their owners. It's tricky to convey pauses in speech when you write, and you did it perfectly. I can't understand the criticisms of your use of "..."

Hi Mr Pezman,

I think "Reefbeach's " comment is very true. You have even managed to make you descriptions of the areas realistic and believable. You also described the emotions of the characters extremely well,making the story a very very good read and the reader wishing for more. Deserves a 5 and better.

Thank You

Handyman2

Pez: Can not guess who your Muse is, in relation to you. True life can be ugly and/or beautiful. The title of the story says it all. Author, thank you.

Five star story! I Great characters