All Comments on 'More Than Wife Can Handle'

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quotation marks are your friends...

...needs quotation marks, spell-check and a lot more exposition. Too much of this story was laden in dialogue, which, devoid of quotation marks, was hard to read through. Also, you need to draw things out a lot more. Did four guys show up in the house because the husband refused to suck dick? I don't think so. Was there a phone call made? How long did they wait? What happened while they waited? Put as many details as you can in your story and then pare back. You'll end up with a much better story.

If you'd made the chick 30+ years younger, you might have stood a chance at eroticism.

You don't use quotes. You don't separate dialogue. You don't even say who is saying what. Horrible writing

Learn to write properly, use punctuation and proper sentence construction.

The spelling and syntax on this story is so bad that it is distracting to read. Please find an editor for your work so that there is some semblance to eroticism for the reader.

horny sexy

My wife needs Tyrone , we haven’t had sex in 30 years.