All Comments on 'Lapdancing Girlfriend Ch. 05'

by DocCIS

Sort by:
  • 113 Comments
DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Yes, it's long...

As I've mentioned on my blog, this was a huge-assed chapter...but I wanted to keep it all together because it fit with how I wanted the story broken up. There was some give and take in the scenes, some being longer than I wanted, others shorter, but hopefully there's enough to please most everybody!

I've kept the days split with ****** breaks for people who only want to read a bit at a time...so hopefully you all enjoy!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
5 Stars.

Doccis: From the couple of quick read of parts of chapter #5 I have givin you 5 stars. It will likely be several days / week before I will have finished Lap 5. Will send you feed back at that time.

Thank You for the year long effort to write this chapter. Take a break!!!

7 Mile.

chazbazchazbazover 10 years ago
What a read!!!!

This chapter is fraking awesome, its long but well paced so it flows fast (lol took 2 sittings to read all of it) and hot. Probably the best instalment from Docis yet and he is my best writer on here.

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks everybody

Thanks everybody for the comments and feedback so far. As many know the length of the story had been something I had been hesitant on, but as many said, nobody is forced to sit and read it all at once :p

uisceuisceover 10 years ago

Gave it a 5.

Read the the entire chapter.

deedolitodeedolitoover 10 years ago
And now we wait for Annie

Whaooo.

This chapter take the Lapdancing Girlfriend to a whole new level. I still prefer the "Annie" Story. But this chapter deserve 5 stars (your third chapter of Annie deserve 6 stars, if only this was possible).

Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
5 stars

Definitely worth the wait.

smilingcoyote74smilingcoyote74over 10 years ago

Best read. A short read despite the length. Amazing how Doc made every sex scene different because of the characters and setting. Just simply the best read here!

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks everybody!

Once again, thank you all for the comments and feedback, both here and via PM's.

@smilingcoyote74--you're not the first to comment on how short the story reads even with it's length. The length of the story, if you've been keeping up with my blog, has been one of my biggest concerns, so I am glad I got things flowing well enough that people did not notice it!

You'd be surprise the number of "Too long, did not read" comments I've received, people saying they were giving me a 1 just out of spite for the length of the story. I don't mind bad votes if warranted, but to give it just because they did not read it is upsetting...but such is the anonymity of the internet.

To those that do read it, appreciate the comments, criticisms, and feedback!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Nick and Jen

The scene with Nick and Jen after the party is good, but it takes 40+ pages to get to it. It works because Jen gets it right in front of Dan. The author too often uses 500 words when 50 would do, but the chapter isn't bad. The first chapter in this story is still by far the best.

dapidapiover 10 years ago

I had to wait forever for this! That said, it was worth the wait but could be much better.

Doc, there were typos and other mistakes PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get yourself a beta editor to go through everything to catch and correct the errors.

The story is as descriptive as hell, that's all to the good but, it can be a bit too much. Getting lost in the nitty gritty details can bog down the story. I know you've researched everything indepth and it adds to the credibility of the story–if I didn't know better I'd say that you actually are Dan.

The plot idea is good, Jen/Diamond's degradation has driven the story so far but, we need to see more of Dan, we need to see more of DeWight's operation and we need to see Dan and Diamond/Jen get in gear, do something to get their lives back and hurt DeWight in the worst way by stealing the business away from him and burying him so deep that even the FBI will never find the grave.

That said, I'm looking forward to the next installment and I'm hoping that it will be as good, if not better, than the chapters that preceded it.

jviperjviperover 10 years ago
A "little" review

I think to me this was a mixed bag chapter. First off the length wasn't actually a problem as I at least didn't feel bored when reading it. The pacing unfortunately wasn't very good. We got some good development at the beginning but then after the second photo shoot things did move up extremely quickly when compared to before. I think you got too much detail at first and then cut out at the end.

As for the plot, I know this serves more as a stroke story to some but you obviously put a lot of dedication to the plot. It does suffers from the same things a lot of these type of stories(cuckold, in this case kinda) do and that's weak characters. When I read the last chapter I actually thought the characters were going to try to get out of their situation, but here I am 49 pages later and we're still affirming Chuck's hold on the "couple".

The FBI here is a joke, the way Chuck conducts his business is really strange for it to be so successful. But I guess I can let it pass since it's fiction, but Dan not acting in any situation he is thrust into and Jen's incredibly convenient disease excuse for the things she does undermines the who the audience roots for. Chuck gets what he wants not from some genius moves on his part but from stupid things the other characters do. I just wish you would make this story something different from the standard cuck story. Here's to hoping the next chapter shows something different in the main characters attitudes.

Now for the praise, the sex scenes are really good and they didn't feel too long. You have a really great talent to showcase these scenarios and your attention to detail really pays in them. I just wish you would show more of a progression on the elevator and the drive scenes. They were the best in this even though there's no sex involved yet. The lesbian scene didn't do much for me but I'm not a fan of those so I'm biased. Shame you also didn't explore much on the glass of cum in the hotel. I still think Jen should have stayed with the dried cum for more time. Maybe even gone to work like that. But that's a fetish of mine.

Sorry for the wall of text but I felt this chapter deserved a little more than "it's good, keep on".

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@jviper

Appreciate the comments! I know some parts fell short. Some of that was editing...I was always leery on the length of the chapter and some scenes were purposely removed to shorten the scenes. Another part of was just Fate. I had a bunch of Truth/Dare questions involving the shot glasses, but wrote the story as I actually played out the game, with an actual spinner and Excel spreadsheet. When there was an impossible move, the game forfeited; when a Truth/Dare question, it was randomly selected from a list "drawn" by the computer. Unfortunately, random chance did not pull many of the shot glass dares, LOL.

Other sections I just felt "rushed" to get the chapter out. Feedback always has mixed results, but in the end, I felt rushed to get this chapter published. For me this is merely a hobby, and it felt like work many times over so I know some scenes were less involved than others. Character development takes time, and in the end, a literary masterpiece is not what many people want. You would not believe the number of "Too long, did not read, you get a 1" PM's I've received or deleted from the comments section.

Also, this site being what it is, I often give more on the sex side of things and take away from the characters themselves. I have a set plot outlined for the entire story, and the next couple chapters merely show Diamond's degradation into the industry. I'm sure they'll be "hot" releases, but probably not too in-depth in regards to the story, but that's what is expected here, so I have to appeal to the masses for the higher votes. Nothing is set in stone, and writing next on my Skyrim and Annie series, so who knows!

ken philipsken philipsover 10 years ago
Wonderful!

Yes, a bit long but still one of the best stories ever put up here. I just hope Part 6 does not take so long. Congratulations! Jen/Diamond is a star! Ken

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
good read

Was an awesome chapter really enjoyed the anal scenes. doesn't mater how long it is cause if it was a book it would be pages so whats the difference if its on paper or on here. only complaint i have is that it was a long time before the chapter came out :)

wibitriwibitriover 10 years ago
Epic

Jen is such a good dancer I get hard just reading about her!

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks again!

Thanks again everybody for the comments and feedback, it's much appreciated!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Superb!!!

Once again you have dazzled us with your plot twist and turns as Jen/Diamond gets to the Headquarters of DSA. BRAVO!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Brilliant!

Amazing again!

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Once again, thank you!

Appreciate all the kind words both here, on the blog, and in PM's! Definitely made the time worth it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
WOW!

Dude you need to exploit your talent! Excellent story line and writing style. Keep it coming!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
good story

A very enjoyable read. The only small criticism I will make is that we didn't need to read every hour of every day, it makes the story too repetitive. Jen gets up thinks a lot about her situation, chooses her clothes, gets in the limo, dresses there, arrives at work, gets groped in the lift. All this could have been described in a flasback chapter later in the day.

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks again...

Once again, thanks for all the replies (including PM's).

In regards to the repetitiveness, that was done on purpose. I wanted everybody to begin to feel she was falling into a routine that included not only the sex, but her everyday activities too. This will begin to play out again in the next chapter or two where she begins to fall into the routine of being home during Sunday/Monday/Tuesday, flying out to DSA Wed/Thur, then flying out to whatever club she will be touring with Friday, followed by a photo-shoot on Saturday.

The whole purpose is to relay that she IS falling into a routine, and that routine involves her exploitation and is actually a part of it. The more comfortable she gets, the more she is used. First it starts with the limo driver, then moves on to other things...

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
5-stars, despite...

Or maybe because of, the length. I'm eagerly watching for the next installment of this incredible story. In the meantime, thank you for giving me and my... 'little buddy' something to do.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Keep going!!

Great story - kinda go wth 'repetitive' comments but can understand what you say you were trying to do - didn't really take away from enjoyment.

How about some clothes that are revealing but not stripper stuff - just for variety. When does Geiger plan to introduce buttplug cam!.

Looking forward to the rest

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Your writing style is great and makes me wanting more. Can't wait to see what happens to them and how it will end for the bad guy. Keep the stories coming.

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@Everybody - Thanks!

Thanks again for all the feedback here and in PM's and on my blog, it's much appreciated!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Lap Dances for everyone

I thought that given the length it was an extraordinary job. It wasn't needlessly long. It was long because you covered a lot of ground. I like that it seems that Chuck seems to know he has Dan's Fiance and is doing worse than stealing her, he's turning her out as a whore, Can't wait until she starts escorting!!!! And what's more, it seems like he's seducing Jen to want this lifestyle and realize it is where she was always meant to be and what she was meant to do.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
An homage to Jaydice?

Seemed like you working in his story Cum Shot Party.

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks!

Hmmmm, I know I've read Jaydice's stories in the past, but not sure if they had an influence on the idea or not...it was not intentional. I've read a couple similar stories, but there was no conscious effort to "copy" anybody's idea...

Appreciate the feedback!

BadJBadJover 10 years ago
Amazingly well written!

This is some of the best writing I have seen on this or any other site. Bravo!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
repetitive exposition

Excellent writing but you could cut about 25% as it is repetitive. Having 3 POV with the same info gives the reader a chance to skip, and skip I did.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I agree with Badj "Well Written"

This was a very well written story, Chapter #5 was the stepping stone for many more chapters. Look forward to your next chapter. Soon I hope!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I agree with the comment re the revealing clothes. Some more non-stripper stuff would be nice. The hottest scene in my opinion was the nightclub scene where jen lets herself go while dancing. Very hot!!

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks all!

Thanks everybody (both comments here and private e-mails and the blog site)! And keep the suggestions coming! I try to incorporate reader's comments as much as I can to get everybody involved, hehehe...

And remember to check out the blog for updates!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Long read but well worth it!

Long read but well worth it! are you planning on adding any interracial elements to the story?

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@Anon

I warned people many times in comments, at the beginning, and on my blog it would be a long chapter. There were some things I just wanted to have in the story that were obviously not sexual, but what I felt would develop the characters and plot a bit more.

As to Interracial elements...so far, that has not been on purpose. I have a generalized plot in my head and go forward, and it's just not happened. That's not to say it won't happen, LOL... There are some definite scenes which will be interracial, so you can expect them, but again, the past chapters and the lack of such scenes has not been a conscious effort.

YogoeYogoeover 10 years ago
Good read

The story was not so muck long as it was difficult to hold my place. Reading it on my iPad. Not sure if it's possible to break down to smaller segments. Enjoyed the story hope there is more.

Yogoe

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@Yogoe

I understand the problem reading with your iPad. When I read any long story on Literotica (+5 pages) on my tablet it is difficult. The site just was not made for "mobile" reading. It's much better on a PC with a larger monitor.

The stories are written in Word, but I try to keep paragraphs and such short for online reading. When you're reading on a mobile device things are even more lengthened as a full sentence is several additional lines.

Sorry if it was difficult, but that's more of a factor of the Literotica layout than anything :(

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
great!

first couple of chapters of this story were great, but this was just over-long drawn out tripe, even skipping over was hard work

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Great story, but it's dragging on too long.

I have definitely enjoyed this story so far, but honestly, I hope you end it soon. It's painful to keep watching Jen cheat on Dan, and if this continues further, I don't think their relationship can ever be repaired. I want too see that bastard Chuck behind bars.

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@Anon

I currently have 10 chapters planned for the Lapdancing series...so it's only halfway done. I don't want to give away any of the upcoming plot, but there will be a few surprises in store...

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
awesome

this story is very good and well organized even if it is very long but u enjoy every chapter of it .you are talented don't stop and we wait next chapter as soon as possible

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
dragging....on and on

bored, really bored.... annie is better

DocCISDocCISover 10 years agoAuthor
@Anon (above)

My apologies the story did not interest you...unfortunately it is inevitable some people will like it, some won't. Hopefully I will get the next Annie chapter out soon...although based upon feedback on my blog and here, Lapdancing has more of a following, which is where I've been focused lately...

Cyborg504Cyborg504about 10 years ago
Excellent story

I feel this series is excellent and anxiously await the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

DocCISDocCISabout 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks Cyborg504

Appreciate the comment. Be sure to check out my blog (URL in profile) where I have teasers and such for this and other chapters and stories!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
exceptional story

This may well be the best storyline on literotica. Your writing is equal to that of popular novelists and the plot is deep and coherent. Kudos.

DocCISDocCISabout 10 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Thanks!

Hopefully Chapter 06 will be coming out soon...you can keep track of my progress and other stories and such on my blog (URL in my profile)...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
suggestion

add a raver foam party to it...

DocCISDocCISalmost 10 years agoAuthor
Foam party...

Genius!

I was actually planning her attending a Rave party in Chapter 06...and this will make it even better...I can see it now, everybody dressed in their rave clothes, foam everywhere, and suddenly she doesn't know who's touching who...

Great idea!

Also be sure to check out my blog (URL in profile) for story updates and such!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
foam party

thanks - the foam party idea is great...

make here very drunk and wasted - slowly touching first random and then tons of guys can take their turn she doesnt even know who... just by the size of their cocks...

maybe u can let her go in a bodypainting rather than actual cloth... it will be slowly washed off - so she is max exposed in public ;)

DocCISDocCISover 9 years agoAuthor
Foam party and more...

You should definitely check my blog where I've updated the upcoming Rave/Foam party info...as well as some inspirational pictures, LOL!

bruce_parkerbruce_parkerover 9 years ago

Very interesting reading although it has to end soon and if it doesn't at least let Dan get some! Let him drown his sorrows in some pussy!!!

DocCISDocCISover 9 years agoAuthor
@bruce_parker

Well, there is an end...but I have at least six more chapters planned for this series. I am almost at the end of Chapter 06 (time is so limited, it is taking me forever). In Chapter 06 Dan finally does get some...but I won't spoil it any more ;)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Jen...

Please don't forget the "Jen" part of the story.I'm sure many others as well as myself are pulling for "Jen" to make a comeback and Diamond to go back to where she was in Chapter 01 or less.

She doesn't need to be a total slut. Happy endings can be a good thing.

jap7179jap7179about 9 years ago
compliments

Ciao DocCis,

excuse me for my english but i want to give you my congratulations for your story, absolutly the best that I read. Also the description of the same situation

from differents points of view is a good ideas. One thing that I'd like, is a greater attention for the romantic thinkings of Jen for Dan with the fantastic description

that you done of the her sexuality. I loved also the guilts of the two heroes that always

show their love. Now I'm waiting the chapter 6, hoping it will be soon. Thank you

very much for your incredible work

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Thanks for reading...and no, I'm not forgetting the "Jen" side of things...but I will say things are going to get worse before they get better. I do have her sinking into quite a bit of depravity in Chapter 06, but Chapter 07 I already have some "alone" time with Dan... ;)

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
@jap7179

Thank you for the compliments and time reading!

Be sure to check out my blog (URL in my profile) for updates on when Chapter 06 will be done and what I'm working on. I try to keep it up to date weekly, and it is better than having to visit Literotica and refreshing my profile each week wondering what's going on, LOL.

Appreciate to comments (and your English is FINE!)

jap7179jap7179about 9 years ago
thanks

Thanks for the answer Doc,

but don't worry, I always checking the news on your blog... In relation to the sentiments of the 2 heroes, I loved very much the separation that you made because,

in my opinion, it underlines mainly their love, simply perfect ! Just one question;

the description of the thinking's Dan leaves understand possible cuckold developments (in the classic meaning of the word ). Until now effectively it's been just an element in the mind of Dan and he's been just a theoretical cuckold ( except the episode of the agent Pat in their home ). Can you tell me anything about ? thank you

for your job Doc !

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
@jap7179

Actually there have been a few others...if you remember, Dan watched Diamond have sex with Mr. DeWight when she was coerced into signing the contract. In addition, I think it was Chapter 05 he watched her again with Mr. DeWight in the shower.

Chapter 06 has another scene where she will be right in front of him and have to choose between him or Mr. DeWight...although I won't spoil it beyond that, LOL

Thanks again!

jap7179jap7179about 9 years ago
cuckold or voyeur

Ciao docCis,

I remember of course the episodes but in those situations Dan was more a voyeur

than a cuckold. Maybe, during the party, the scene with Nick ( it's fantastic the idea of the "boyfriend" ) can be called cuckold, where Diamond sees her love and his rival through the windows. Before, Jen wasn't included in the game (except the "test" with Pat Geiger) and only Dan (Charles ?... ) was the player but without Jen.

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
Coming in Ch. 06!

OK, get your meaning. There is a scene in Chapter 06 which should satisfy your desire, LOL... ;)

rickjones185rickjones185about 9 years ago
You You You can't do that

You have to continue the story. When I got to the last word it was like someone had stopped sucking me just as I was ready to cum!!!! I was not ready for that ending!!!! Damn I believe these stories were with out a doubt the best stories I read on this site! Hands down you have held my attention through the list of stories you have shared with me. I hope you write more!!!!

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
@rickjones185

LOL, thank you for the kind words, and yes, I will be continuing not only Lapdancing, but ALL my story lines I currently have going.

Problem is simply time. Writing is a hobby for me, and due to work and such, I only get the weekends to write, and then it's a case of whether I'm in the mood or have the time. As I've mentioned before, you can keep track of where my fickled Muse is taking my from my blog (URL in profile)...but rest assured, I do plan on getting SOMETHING out soon...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Fantastic

Finally finished reading this story. It was so long I think my English improved a little bit :)

Please finish the next episode soon. This was the best story I've read in Literotica

DocCISDocCISabout 9 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Much appreciated, and thank you!

I hope to get Chapter 06 out "soon". Be sure to check my blog (URL in my profile) on updates, teasers, and other stories I'm working on!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
giving up?

hey - should we give up on the foam party fantasy - at least please submit a longer tease with this episode on your website...

thanks

DocCISDocCISalmost 9 years agoAuthor
@anon

LOL, no, not giving up, but as I mentioned on my website there's been a shift in priorities, as one of my stories I am being PAID to write so focusing on that one...it will be storyboarded by a 3D artist in the future. Of course, if somebody wants to slip me another check, I can shift those priorities as well ;)

I'll be getting back to Lapdancing 06 once I get my Lifeguard story done. I'm shooting for the Lifeguard story to be done in May, so summer will bring about Lapdancing, then Annie, and possibly a few others!

I'll look into another teaser...although I haven't touched Lapdancing 06 since starting on the Lifeguard story.

For others, be sure to visit my blog for updates and such (URL in profile!)...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Enough is enough!

I think you have some sort of pathological avoidance of finishing anything. From your blog, you seem to always be working on something. But nothing ever gets finished. Its been two years since you published anything. Yet you claim to regularly be working. If its not one thing its another. Stop stringing people along with your excuses. At the end of last year you said something to the effect of "wow, I didn't publish anything all year. I will get that straitened out." Well, here we are 6 months later and still nothing. Pretty soon you will be saying "wow, two years in a row that I didn't publish anything."

DocCISDocCISalmost 9 years agoAuthor
@anon

LOL, well, considering this is merely a HOBBY, whereby I'm not getting PAID and can only do on my free time... Seriously thought, I truly only have weekends to work on this, and when I have family visiting, other errands to do, or whatever, that interferes with that time. I work from 6am to typically 5pm, so rarely have the desire to work on anything M-F. That's just life... So out of the 48 hours I have for the weekend, I'm sorry my writing spank stories isn't a high priority.

The current story I am working on IS a PAID story, so until that's completed (and hey, I'm being paid for it, so that is my focus), don't expect to see anything else until then.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

You could possibly appease the nay-Sayers if maybe you released partials?

I mean this chapter was 40 pages - most peoples entire series combined doesn't equal that many pages. So just an idea to keep the troops happy is to release smaller chapters? I mean in chapter 5 there was easily 10 scenes - so you could have done 10 micro chapters to be exact.

Anyway - I would take these peoples comments as positive in that they are irate enough to bitch about it cause they want and need to see more - makes me think of people always waiting for the new starwars or startrek movie.

DocCISDocCISalmost 9 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Oh, I do feel humbled there are so many people wanting additional chapters of all my stories! Don't get me wrong. But as I said, time is simply limited.

I tried releasing a story a bit at a time...that was the experiment with Annie Ch. 03. It was released in three parts as I finished each, but the backlash for releasing it in "segments" compared to the whole chapter has been the reason for holding off until I feel a chapter is completely "finished." For all the people upset at the long delay, there were twice or even three times as many who hated the small releases.

Another issue I had was writing out and releasing a chapter "early" I found I had made a mistake in one plot and had to go back and change it after it had already been posted. Surprisingly, a LOT of people noticed the change...so again, I try to wait until I feel comfortable finishing it myself...not falling into the pressure of forcing a release :/

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
lmao

The Author writes AMAZING storys

most of them revolving around fucking with peoples minds , control & abuse

....

the feedback & comments only add fuel to the fire..

just as the reader waits for the next instalment of Jen & Dan's situation like sharks following a chum line .... The Author will be enjoying making us wait & wait & wait..

possibly eventually deciding to leave the story hanging ... exquisite justice for all us nasty , kinky fucks who have enjoyed the mental torture & anguish of the protagonists.

...

ashamed to say .. Voted 5 stars

DocCISDocCISover 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon...

LMAO!

Short of some disability, I plan on finishing ALL my stories. The main factor is not incentive or want of writing, but simply time. This is purely a hobby, and with real life issues, I only have a few hours each weekend to write.

Currently working on an actual paid commission which I'll be posting hopefully by the end of summer (GASP, I hate ETA's, LOL)...and then will be focusing on the next chapter of Jen and Dan, followed by Annie.

Everybody can keep up to date on what I'm working on (or how little at times) on my blog (URL in my profile)....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Too F in Long

Too F in Long

DocCISDocCISabout 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon...

Nobody's "required" to read my stories...and if this chapter is too long for you, you probably don't want to read any others at this point, particularly some of my more recent stories...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Uh huh?

first - the story was astounding! ... so thanks...

second - I really wish you would continue it

third - I've read your blogs about about how you'd continue if there was incentive ...you are sooo busy, your computer broke, it rained, ... blah, blah, blah (now you even have a paying following!)

I'm sad you don't have the inspiration to continue since it was so exhilarating to read.

DocCISDocCISabout 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Already have the next chapter 70% done, so yes, there will be more...but I can't make up the shit that's happened over the past few months, hehehe...one thing after another.

Also, the top tier Patreon followers have had me focusing on other stories, so that's been the incentive lately, although several are now wanting the next chapter of Lapdancing, so hoping o get back to it "soon"...but thanks for the comments!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Thanks

for taking the time to write this story, it's enjoyable and fun and I am hoping for a happy ending , they deserve it.. ( yeah, I am a romantic...)

Thanks !

DocCISDocCISabout 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon

Thank you for your comments!

I've had an ending in mind for some time...just need to get all the parts and pieces in place. I have a couple more chapters to go...just need to find time to write!

Senior819Senior819about 8 years ago
Prediction.

Dan and Jen by the end of the story are no more. Jen can't quit. Dan and his jealosy can't handle it. He quits working for Dwight and goes back to his real estate work. When a woman has to ask if the relationship is over then it is. If this isn't your ending then please prove me wrong. Oh and add some sort of twist just for fun.

DocCISDocCISabout 8 years agoAuthor
@Senior819

That definitely NOT the ending I have planned...and there is a bit of a twist. The ending is one where I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be confused, upset, and probably some not at all happy with, LOL...but there most certainly IS an ending. Ch 06 (which my Patreon users will get a glimpse of this month) is the halfway point...but there's a lot more shit Jen has to go through before then ;)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

This story is amazing. Don't change a thing about how you write it because although the details and multiple views you write can become monotonous at times, it makes for better story telling and better re-reads.

I can't say I've ever been this interested in reading a story for the plot in this category of reading. I love how the FBI are just using her because they can and she's super ****ing hot, especially Nick. It's so ****ed up, I love it. I also really liked the dancing scene/limo scene build-up with the male porn stars and what followed. That's usually not my thing but for whatever reason I loved it. Poor Dan LOL

If I was rich I'd give you a blank check to bunker down in a room and finish this entire story.. I love your other stories but this one is by far my favorite!

DocCISDocCISalmost 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon...

LOL, thank you very much!

I am current working on publishing a new story, but Lapdancing Ch. 06 is about 80% completed (as my Patreon supporters know, because they get an early preview, LOL)...and it's the next story I'm working on. There's even a supporter that wants me to rewrite Lapdancing as a single book (so remove the beginning rehash of each chapter)...that I am thinking about.

Much appreciated...and be sure to check out my blog (URL in profile) on teasers and other discussions about this and other upcoming stories!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
ending

You better not let Chuck get away or not have Jen and Dan. Get together or I will come find you and loss on your keyboard !

DocCISDocCISalmost 8 years agoAuthor
@Anon...

Hehehe, the ending is one of those secrets I've not even revealed the most die-hard fans ;) Appreciate the comments!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
still waiting for the end.

you said end April...

DocCISDocCISalmost 8 years agoAuthor
Oops...

I didn't really lie...but my focus has turned currently towards self-publishing my first book...once I get that done, I'll be poking chapter 06 a bit...

My apologies tho...although the draft IS available on my Patreon page, hehehe....

allenethanmallenethanmover 7 years ago
Well Worth the LONG Read

I have my own ideas on how this may end, but no reason to have a spoiler here. Great plot. Makes me want to try some longer stories I usually pass on. Anxiously await your putting the wraps on this before I forget where we are in this story. Definitely a 5Star favorite story, favorite author.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
and then Dan commits suicide.

This is seriously fucked up. I'd elaborate, but the longer I spend contemplating the vile, twisted darkness of this work, the quicker I feel my brain cells dying and my emotions getting darker. So I'll leave it at that. I recommend that the author hug a fluffy bunny rabbit. Then vow never to write fiction again. Jesus...and some people are *aroused* by this?! What the fuck...

ofrantiofrantiover 6 years ago
disliked

At first I liked the story, it starts challenging. But from the moment this FBI guy vistits the couple, the plot turns into weird crap, nothing truly erotic anymore.

rodryder44rodryder44over 6 years ago
The Perils of Pauline

Poor Diamond and her amazing libido. Writer never skips a beat describing Diamond's turmoil vs being the best spokesmodel for her girls. At 49 pages I thought this would be the end - where will it end and what's in store for Chuck? I hope the Company has a great medical plan for Dan's therapy. I enjoy this.9

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
waiting for the end

To see if Dan finally kills himself or becomes a happy cuck whoring out his fiance.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago

Sadly, the author recently passed away, so this is likely the final chapter in the saga.

argeelogargeelogabout 6 years ago
Continue

I am so hooked on this story....any chance someone can step up to finish what Doccis started?

KnickersKnickersalmost 6 years ago
RIP Doc

Sorry we'll never see the end of this saga, and find out once and for all what the "full production settings" were that were greenlit.

Maybe one day his editors will be able to release what was completed before his passing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Too bad we won't never know-RIP

I believe that Chuck knows exactly what Jen is to Dan and is playing with him. It woudln't surprise me if he has the FBI guys in his pocket too. Unfortunately we will never know. RIP.

PS: I hope that DocCIS's great body of work that must surely hide behind the paywall will one day be available to the general public.

Mari55

CarnalProdigyCarnalProdigyalmost 6 years ago
RIP DocCIS

Lapdancing Girlfriend is probably one of my top 5 story series of all time. I read about DocCIS's passing on some of the 3D imaging websites last December and was saddened to hear the news. Fantastic author! I will always appreciate the time he took to place his thoughts into his writings!

There are always going to be trolls leaving negative comments but you will notice how they are always anonymous. I would love to see their submissions lol.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
What Happens...End

I'm one of the fans that Doccis bounces his idea off. I actually have the full-outline of Lap. Was supposed to keep it under wraps. But since Doccis has passed, I think it would offer some closure. (Honestly I'm surprised by the comments...so people still check here).

Ok....here goes.

The big one. Chuck already knows Dan and Jen work for the FBI. There are lots of twists and red herrings in chap 6-8. In chap 7....there is a nice one. Chuck plays Dan and Diamond by telling each he will throw Dan a bachelor party. Dan thinking Jen will perform at his stag party, and Jen thinking the same. But when the lights come on...Dan finds Mary dancing for him...and Jen finds herself in a room full of black football players for the city's team.

In the end Jen does get married in Chapter 8. However Chuck surprises her by showing up. He then lets her know that he has always known...and he got a kick seeing his buddy's fiancé get fucked by hundreds of people (you get the idea the situations Jen goes through in chap 6-8). He and the original workers of Jen's club gang bangs her....Chuck finally walking Jen down the isle in a slutty wedding dress with cum oozing out of both her nether region. Dan is shocked.

Chap 9 is a little weird. I never got to discuss with Doccis why....but Dan and Jen are rushed off to a private island honeymoon where Chuck arranges Dan to get cock blocked at every turn while Jen is exploited in numerous situation. It ends with them flying back without having consummated their marriage but Jen taken by more than 2 dozen or so guys.

Chap 10 was a short summary details not really fleshed out. But Chuck is put behind bars....Dan and Jen are in a witness protection program. Jen got a breast reduction surgery, and cut her hair short. It ends with Jen finding life boring....and servicing the FBI agents on monthly trysts under the guise of personal "FBI briefings" out of town.

There....I hope that gives some closure to everyone.

12
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous