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rip it off

bytodski28©
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by Anonymous

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by Angeline07/05/13

Good anticipation and build up

even if the ending is a bit hokey, but by dint of writing every day you're steadily improving. :-)

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by Desejo07/05/13

I agree

You are getting much, much better. I like the ending - I didn't see it coming!

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by GuiltyPleasure07/05/13

good stuff

a five from me. you are really improving.

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by erectus12307/06/13

well done

brief and pointed

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by todski2807/06/13

Thanks

To all

Hokey Angeline? Did you smile or laugh? If you did then this poem has served its purpose. Not everything in life has to be so serious, forms, metre, rhyme etc are amazing things but something as simple as a grin at cheeky word play is a point that life can't always be so serious.

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by twelveoone07/06/13

hokey

in the sense of the build up and misdirection leads to a mere fizz,
i.e. overdone
but damn
you got this misdirection crap down to a "T"
i 5ed btw

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by tazz31707/06/13

A FRACTURED FAIRY TALE

with double en-tendres galore, TK U MLJ LV N V

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