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Lovely
Such prose!Well done indeed.
DREADFUL!
This is a site for erotic stories. I read it for sexual stimulation, not to get fucking depressed.
I'm confused
I agree with an earlier reader, your prose is lovely. The order of revelation of facts in the story is bewildering.
I liked it. Looking forward to more. I don't agree with the previous comment yeah we read erotica for sexual simulation but its nice when its an actually story/plot not just a wham bamb they just fuck & that's it. Good job this was a great start 5*.
To the reader who says "DREADFUL! This is a site for erotic stories. I read it for sexual stimulation, not to get fucking depressed", have you ever considered that maybe you take too narrow a view on life?
And no, I don't find anything bewildering about the sequence of events - my only complaint is that the sex in ch 2 comes TOO SOON. More story and character development first would have been nice.
Keep writing . . .
well...
A lot of anons who come here for the first time usually end up looking in the wrong place. Noeverything in this site is filled to the brim with people(or nonhumans) fuck each others brains out. If you're just here for the sex, go to the erotic couplings category. That being said, this story's pretty good. :)
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