- All
Comments (12) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
R u a misogynist
I don't understand why a minority of story tellers on here, have to indulge what seems to be a hatred of women, or at least dislike of them. Surely, you could write a story of mind controlled sex that is sexy, exciting and believable without half killing the lady participant.
Interesting... I liked it.
Nice little twist at the end, where she didn't obey. Makes you wonder...
.......painful to read....
I agree with what one of the other people posted, you definitely should think about reworking your story somehow. It might take a bit more thought, but im sure you could come up with other ways to showcase the ins and outs of his power without your main character reveling in treating his sister in a manner which is at least abusive, and at most bordering on getting off on almost killing her....in the first chapter!
Holding...
I say you have a start here. I don't know where this is going but I think a lot of critiques here are due to the fact that it really is only half of a start. And no, the guy doesn't have to be a good guy or bad guy but the fact that we can't tell what kind of guy he really is, is off-putting. He is right now an incomplete character, if you want him to abuse his power go for it... If he is to be more in control but with a weakness for women... Just go for it, you are the writer, you know where you're going, I for one wait for the next installment to see where you lead us.
Re: misogyny
Mind Control is basically mental rape. No one goes into the comments of a rape story to call the author a misogynist. It was super rough and super cruel and I really enjoyed how the protagonist went on a blatant power trip. The extremes of not only having this power but exerting it over someone powerful can totally appeal to someone. I thought the breathplay was really hot as well.
Look, I get that it doesn't appeal to everyone, but there are thousands of other stories on this site. Why attack this author when you can just move on and read something else that you prefer? rifkinraf, I hope you keep on writing and don't feel intimidated because a few people didn't dig it.
Re: Re: misogyny
Thanks. Me getting intimated out of writing more by being called a misogynist is kinda like me going to the "Missionary With The Lights Off, and The Dude Cries Alone While The Woman Showers Immediately After," category and getting them to leave the site by calling them a terrorist.
The proclamation that sexualized violence always expresses a hatred of women is really socially problematic to me. It seems to quickly loop back into a judgement on consensual (sans mind control, like in real life) female participants in a way that can only be described as... misogynistic. I frequently choke my girlfriend. I don't do it because I hate her, or because I hate women. I do it because she likes it. What does saying that is always misogynistic say about her?
This is a story about sexual objectification, in a whole category of kooky-brain-powers-science-fiction-sex stories about sexual objectification. I understand that violence is distasteful to some readers, and will tag my stories more liberally in the future to acknowledge the presence of violence.
Completely retarded.
She fists her ass for the first time and it didn't tear apart? He has the power to make anyone do his bidding since he was a child and Were supposed to believe that THIS is the first time he's ever raped a woman? We're supposed to believe that she gets mashed into the concrete, gets a bloody nose and she only says "wow"?!?
Are you fucking mental? I get that this is a story but when it becomes as cartoonish as the coyote and roadrunner show, it loses the ability to entertain.
Story was Interesting but Lacking
Foundthe story interesting but lacking in character building. As for prior coments on the choking - I tend to place that in the Fetish category. Some women like to be choked during sex. Thankfully I, personally, have not encountered it but have known other mates where their women loved it. It is an act fraught with danger and unfortunately too many guys get off on it without seeing the long-term (physical and mental) damage to their partners. Anyway, the story lacked in character building and this reduced the interest in the characters.
I like it
Despite the flaws described by the other commentors, i quite liked it. Keep it coming!
Re Completely Retarded
He said he thought it was luck, that he DIDN'T know he had the power as a child.
RE: Re Completely Retarded
Thanks for your comment sbrooks103. Not only that, but, the word "grass" is used twice in regard to what she fell onto, and I feel I elude pretty clearly that it's not the first time Tammy's had something giant up her ass. Completely-Retarded-commenter was clearly not reading for comprehension.
wow
Cool!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Okay... Ch. 01 or
More submissions by rifkinraf.