All Comments on 'First Time With Joe'

by alexcarr

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chesthairslavechesthairslaveover 10 years ago
"Let me concentrate on giving you a good time."

Another version of your 'My first time with...'. Your typical toys with a few variations appear. Think this is my favorite. I would like to read a follow up story with humorous Joe. My friend, you've got to do something about the numerous typographical errors throughout your stories. There were even several in the first paragraph. Instead of immersing the reader into the story the errors boot everyone right out temporarily. Please?!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
It's an okay story.

I found myself having to reread parts because of the errors you've made in your writing. Proofreading before you submit your story will go along way. It won't take your readers out of the story because certain parts don't make sense. Try the volunteer editors offered through Literotica.

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