You're off to a very good start. The only suggestion for improvement that I might make is that when I first read the story, I felt that it just sort of stopped -- that it didn't provide a lead-in to the next chapter. When I reread it, I saw that I was wrong but the fact that I had to read the ending twice in order to notice it probably means it needs a little fleshing out.
English
Good start!
You're off to a very good start. The only suggestion for improvement that I might make is that when I first read the story, I felt that it just sort of stopped -- that it didn't provide a lead-in to the next chapter. When I reread it, I saw that I was wrong but the fact that I had to read the ending twice in order to notice it probably means it needs a little fleshing out.
Keep up the good work!
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