Emma and Kathy Ch. 02

Leaps and bounds of improvement

Far and away more clearly written than your first submission. You could still use some grammar and continuity checks, but you're measurably growing as a writer.

Moreover, your story intrigues. Most of us have been in either Emma's or Kathy's shoes, so it's familiar and interesting. I look forward to seeing the rest of their story unfold.

Mostly though, I want to know if those are your abs in your biography picture. Because, dude, s***.