homeSci-Fi & FantasySex Out of this World Ch. 01-02Public Comments

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Sex Out of this World Ch. 01-02

bysax35©
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Comments (3)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous07/19/13

Good, but needs proofreading

I like the concept and I'm interested in seeing where you go with it, but there are a LOT of grammar errors in this work.

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by Anonymous07/20/13

Too many errors

I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.

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by Anonymous07/22/13

Needs

The story line has promise but there is a definite need for proofreading and editorship. Tenses are inconsistent as is the perspective (first person, second person, third person) . The sex scenes need to be lengthened and more detailed to draw the reader in.

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