All Comments on 'Walking Wet Dream'

Fantastic!

I hope you will be writing about the rest of the boys in Gage's unit, as well as Marty and Sargent Mowbry

Amazing first story. Keep it up.

Don't forget about Marty!

beautiful funny and sexy as hell, I absolutely loved it please please write a follow up so we know what happens to Marty!

Without a doubt you have posted one of the best stories I've had the pleasure to read on Literotica. Your character-development is absolutely spot-on and pulls the reader into your story. I will echo some other comments and say that I am aslo looking forward to a sequel that brings Marty some happiness and closure. Very well done!!!

You have a wonderful way with words, I simple can not wait to read more of your stories!

Please keep writing. I loved this story so

Much and didn't want it to end.

Can't wait to see what you do next

Loved the story, looking forward to more!!!

Loved the story, especially loved ALL the characters! You have done very well, and a first time too! Please do keep it up and thanks!

I loved it!! Can't wait for more ;)

The story telling is superb! I do hope you continue with a tale for Marty!

My ownly hope is maybe get a second reader/editor. Some added punctuation would improve the readability of the story greatly!

Amebede

An excellent read. I'll be looking for more from you.

Fantastic story! I hope there is more to come.

Well written loved the characters keep writing!

You get 19 out of 5 stars...the only reason you missed the last was it was too short! It seriously was the most enjoyable to read story it has been my pleasure to peruse on this, or any other, site.

Great story, but you really NEED an editor and preferable one that will teach you where the freaking question mark goes among other things.

Very special. Heartfelt.

loved loved love it i agree please make a story with marty the characters were awesome and i felt myself identifying with jesse keep up the great work :)

One of the more well thought out ones I've read here in a while. While I liked the story and your characters, it is somewhat marred by a lot of easily corrected errors in punctuation and sentence structure. I really recommend you get someone else to look over your stories before you post them here, it would improve the quality of your work from good to exceptional. If you like, I can go through this one and show you what I mean.

Superb story. Any story that contains Marines, Oreo pie, and sex has to be at the top of my list.

Now that Gage and Jesse are getting married, you have to complete the story for Marty. That story should be just as interesting, and we're anxiously waiting to hear what happens in her life.

Thanks for posting.

It was a nice story--I enjoyed the plot and characters, but the errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation were distracting, as was a little clunkiness in your writing style. I look forward to more from you, but hope that you use an editor and proofread more carefully.

You have a wonderful story here with touching character, buuuuuuuttttt the spelling/punctuation/grammar can be fixed if you choose to do so. Other than that, keep up the good work!

But what about Marty? You gave hints about her and Mawbry but then just finished the story was hoping she would find love as well. Unless your going to give her a story of her own

I loved the story, and cheered the engagement of Gage and Jesse. I'd give Gage a nice coating of dark chest hair -- he is a dark haired walking wet dream, right? -- that would go far to make him even more sexy than he is! Thanks for the superb story!

Liked it - good story well told and without noticeable typos.

Great story :D loved it. no chance could you carry on with a story about Marty? :P

Please consider writing a follow up about Marty!!! I loved reading your story! You did a tremendous job of character building and made me want to know more about Marty, Matt/Mike (can't remember), and the youngest involved in the fire. Looking forward to reading much more from you.

Very enjoyable for a first story. Near the end you had a line "Thank you both for taking care of my soldiers." Marines never use the term soldier when speaking about themselves. Soldiers would be Army. The appropriate word in that sentence would have been Marines.

I agree with others on a story about Marty and Sgt Mawbry as a followup.

Superb story, great characters, good depth and plot but unfinished.... what about Jessy and Gabes baby and a wedding for them, not to mention Marty's story and some of those marines? So much story left to tell.... Prerelease!

The idea and plot of your story was extremely well-thought out and flowed nicely. I found myself really liking all the main characters (which in itself is a huge accomplishment). That being said, there were quite a few grammatical mistakes amd general inconsistencies--missing or overabundant commas, lack of quotation marks for dialogue, you called Jesse by Marty's name a few times, etc. Also, the way you formatted your questions in dialogue should be fixed (for example, instead of '"Are you cold," he asked?' it should be '"Are you cold?" he asked.'). Another big thing for me was the amount of characters introduced--there were over ten characters who were given a name but were only in one scene, which cluttered up the names and made it a little harder to keep everyone straight. You could easy condense the characters (call Carrie Samantha, so instead of two, one-scene characters, you have one, two-scene character). Although it sounds like I was critiquing a lot more than I was complimenting, all the errors I found were extremely minor. I just pointed them out if you were to ever go back and revise this. All in all your story was a great romance. It was very sweet and thoughtful, and I did enjoy how Gage became less shallow through the piece. This was wonderful, astounding for your first story, and I will definitely be checking you out for more in the future (a Marty/Sergeant sequel perhaps?!). Thanks for the good read!

This is the first time I've left a comment. Your story and the people seemed so real, Keep up the good work!

I rarely comment but your story js just beautiful. thanks for sharing your talent with us.

As several others have pointed out, there were rather a lot of grammatical errors and simple editing mistakes. There were places where the timing was a bit confusing as well. Also, where did you get the idea that burns couldn't be washed? When I had a rather nasty third degree burn, the doc insisted that I bathe it, and scrub as hard as I could stand to keep it from scarring too much (and it HURT!).

A good effort. With work, and a decent editor, it could have been a lot better.

This is my first submission so I apologize for any errors ya'll ran into. I write to rid myself of stress and to escape, so that is why I wrote this story, I never had any intention of posting it ever. Literotica is a secret escape as well, one I do not share with anyone especially my family. So it is a leap that I would even publish any of my personal musings.

For the Marine who was upset by my military errors I truly apologize. I appreciate your service and all you have done for our country. I come from a military family and do respect the roll of all branches.

Here is a song I wrote for our proud military. I hope it makes you smile:

There’s so much I cannot say that doesn’t make the news

The bad seems to over shadow all the good that we do

And I know some don’t support us

But I hope that they are few.

The work here is hard,

hot sun makes the days go slow

Tanks aren’t conducive to sleeping

Just thought you’d like to know

But I’m doing fine, and I miss you so

I’m thankful for my unit, they are the very best, and I’m thankful I can help this country in its unrest.

There’s so much I cannot say I know it seems unfair, but I love you all and I handle with prayer

I’m sending more pictures of my tank and guns

Those guys there are my brothers

Cause we’ve shared more than blood

I’ve learned family doesn’t have to match to be your kin

The ties that bind are stronger than the blood that runs within

Our uniforms aren’t crisp anymore and rarely up to code

Fatigue, no longer means camouflage it’s all we really know

We’re just a band of brothers

Fighting for our home

And I tell it like it is when I write the folks

Chorus:

There’s nothing easy about living here, but we pitch in and persevere,

Though, not everyone’s the same or has the same ideal.

If you’re looking for a place to hang your hat you’re welcome to,

We’re free to pray,

We’re free to cuss,

We believe in America

And in God we trust.

The kids of this country are sweet as we hand out treats

You’d be amazed how hard it is to help a country to be free

A friendly smile means so much more, than you would think

It’s getting late, pretty cold and sarge said hit the sack

Don’t know how long it’ll be before I send another letter back

But I think about you everyday

And thankful that you pray

I’m thankful for my unit, they are the very best, and I’m thankful I can help this country in its unrest.

There’s so much I cannot say I know it seems unfair, but I love you all and I handle with prayer

Chorus:

There’s nothing easy about living here, but we all pitch in and persevere,

Though, not everyone’s the same or has the same ideal.

If you’re looking for a place to hang your hat you’re welcome to,

We’re free to pray,

We’re free to cuss,

We believe in America

And in God we trust

2 Large boxes of chocolate pudding

1 pkg of cream cheese

2 pks of Oreos

1 large container of Cool Whip

Let cream cheese sit out for an hour or nuke it to soften.

Follow directions on pudding boxes then add cream cheese.

In a large pan break up Oreo's, eat a couple, break up more Oreo's eat a few more and layer more Oreo's onto bottom of pan, then pour pudding/cream cheese mixture over Oreo's, then put whip cream on top of that, finish by breaking a few Oreos over the whip cream....now pop in the fridge for 20 minutes!

it is on my mind but hey, you still made it clear he had feelings for her in the end.

for a fun and heart warming story. Don't apologize for being a first timer.....

Write another one.....

This tale is so sweet, sensual and seductive! Love your oreo pie recipe! Love the interplay with the cousins and the heroine! Please write more more more and can't wait to read Marty's story with the Sargeant!

Loved the story but now I'm dying for oreo pie! I started wondering if you'd post the recipe at the end of the story but thankfully I see the recipe in your comments. (Haha, wonder how many readers are going to be making oreo pie now? Perhaps this story has a second life in the fetish category!)

I am a little confused about "Carrie". Did I miss something? I thought maybe she'd be his sister or something. And I guess I wasn't too thrilled with Gage's attitude that week. If Marty didn't throw a party, when would he have contacted her? Plus, avoiding her because he didn't want anyone to know they were together? That struck me as very similar to Erica's thoughts.

But overall I really loved the story because it WAS more real life-like. Jesse wasn't super-model heroine that every male wanted. Once guys saw her inner self, then they were smitten.

Oh yeah, you have to write another story about Marty! How about Marty with Sgt Mawbry? Someone who seems more mature and less playboy. And it would be fun to see Mark and Josh find relationships. Of course continuing Gage and Jesse's story would also be fantastic! A huge wedding cake covered with oreos!

What a lovely escape. Thank you for sharing your writing and escape with us. It's fairly rare to find a story that keeps me as glued to it as yours, I ignored the rest of life around me.

The foundation of an established caring friendship, pure and sincere, can lead to deep love and cherishing as you so wonderfully portrayed.

This is the first time I've come to the end of a story and it's felt right! Usually there are loose ends not tied away and it feels unsatisfying but the end you wrote fit perfectly.

I'd love to read more of your writing if you feel inspired to do so. Take care

I could not put it down. Hope you will write more.

Aaaagh!!!finished to soon.would have rated it 50stars if iwas given the option.

What a great plot. I loved the characters. Just amazing and I could not stop reading. Please write more!

I just... I have no words... I love this! Extremely well-written and had me hanging on to every word. You are indeed a gifted writer and I never thought I could find something as good as this on literotica! SO glad it was about much much more than sex! I doubt I will ever find another story up here that stands up to yours!

A little annoyed that Gage never told Jesse that he loved her, great build up but left a little sad. Hope you write a sequel

The only sad part about this story is that it's lonely on your list. I desperately want more stories out of you, this was fantastic.

I couldn't stop reading!!!! Looking forward to more of your writing.

one of the very best. well developed characters. one thing. i am not a marine but i am very sure they do not like bbeing called soldiers. marines are marines. not soldiers. still loved the story. well written.

I hope it's not hopeless to dream of some more stories from you? 5 stars from me and a big thank you.

I love your story. I hope we see some more.

I've tea this story countless times! Love it so much!!!

A real tear-jerker. Why couldn't I have found someone like Jessi?

Seriously don't read this when you're hungry/on a diet!

Other than that a good effort. I think though that a few punctuation and grammar issues need to be resolved. And the thing about marines being called "soldiers" too. They really take offense. I would have liked to see a bit more of the character development, as in what negative things and darker places they had to go to come to the end result. It was there but I feel it could have been explored more deeply. Also it would have been good if the sex was a tad bit more graphic. The reader is teased so often- indeed from the get-go with the title so just the carnality of a more explicit description would have added greatly.

Good job in other words.

sweet story overall but a lot of the punctuation errors got a bit much.

Also, the constant talk of women being catty, or slutty, or Jesse being "rare" and "not like other girls" was way over the top. It was like all except for jesse and marty were being demonised a bit. meanwhile those whorish marine guys were doing all the same stuff and barely being called out on it. Plus jesse saying "what if guys don't like that" and talking about what magazines say, but i guess that plays into her naivety; it just shouldn't be the driving factor of her behaviour.

i did like their friendships and the tension when he was carrying her, or she was bathing him. it was cute.

great story

the story is great, and really sweet. I'm sure there's more where that came from ;)

He doesn't get sexually interested in her till after his face is scarred. He never says I love not even when he proposes. Who the fuck is Carrie and why does Jesse (named spelled like she's a dude) act like a cock addicted moron never questioning or calling him out on any of this? Oh, and if she and his cuz are so tight how did she not know about Jesses' lack of a family? Good job! The story is too long, frustrating in its lack of plot details, and the title is distasteful for a "romance".

I really hope there is a part two only because there is so much left unanswered and a lot of room for drama. I hope Marty gets with the Sargent. I can only assume that's who you would pair her up with. Who is Carrie? What happened with that psycho Gage dated? Why can't he say "I love you" back? Is he really in love with Jesse? because as romantic as he seems, he treats her like she's convenient. However, I still love the story which is why I hope you continue it. The characters are so real to me. Jesse and I are so alike, it's crazy.

I really enjoyed this, it was really sweet. Only bit that kinda freaked me was when she got preggers....why no safe sex!!! But other than that I really loved it :)

Soo sweet. I really love every part of the story. I was touched when she gave him a sponge bath. Though he never mentioned that he loves her, i still feel that he care and love her.

Too many plot holes. Who the fuck is Carrie, why didn't Jesse call him out on it, that's another thing, spelled that way is a guys name. Gage never told her he loved her, why? Gage never even showed he was even remotely interested til he was scarred. The 'guys' thought she was plain, nothing, til they all got scarred, WHY?

Cute story but I've got to agree with the others, way too many plot holes, he never said "I love you", people got mixed up a bit, and because of punctuation and sentence structure some parts were hard to follow

I seriously question the literacy skills of our society when I read so many stupid comments that show a person lacks the capacity to comprehend a story. Here's a little breakdown, who Carrie is doesn't matter, she was a mere tool used as a way of diverting attention. Spelling a name Jesse doesn't make it the name of a man, there are multitudes of names spelt the same weather female of male. Gage showed interest from the start of the story, finding her different, then there's the part where he she appears dressed for work. Read and you'll find loads of interest in Jesse from Gage. He doesn't say he loves her but acknowledges and wants her to love him thus giving the implication he has feelings for her. Read and comprehend the story, don't make the author write out everything, think and see what the author implies by actions taken or words spoken.

Author, Great story, loved it.

so I gave it a 5 to help piss you off

I would love a second chapter to this including Marty finding her "happily ever after" possibly with Sgt. Mawbry?? Everyone else is too afraid of Gage to indulge her. You eluded to possible interest:

"Damn they sure knew how to cook and Gage was a lucky son of a bitch thought Mawbry."

Anyhow, I really enjoyed the story and would adore more of the same.

Could use a bit of cleaning up but loved it otherwise .. Please write more

A good read that I enjoyed. The only think that did not seem real was Jesse telling the guys she was pregnant before she and Gage had figured out what they were going to do with the child and their relationship.

Please post more stories

Do you people ever read the story? rlh100 wrote like he didn't. When Jesse discovered she was pregnant he was standing right there. She asked how he felt about babies. He hugged her. REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Their relationship was already decided by then.

We needs Marty to fall in love with and get hitched to the Sarge! Yar! Then deploy them overseas, and write some romance stories and some loving wives stories about how Marty and Jesse set a couple of cheating wives straight or just kick their asses in the absence of their Marine husbands who are overseas.

Yup it official. I loved the story, you should write more like this. It was amazing to say the least.💙💙

I have read this story so many times. Love it please hurry with the next part

A lot of really great character development. And then an abrupt "no panties" event. Just seemed too abrupt a transition. And out of character. One kiss and ...

Also Gage as an attractive attentive potential mate was less a developed character than the two girls. His off again on again attention to her was off putting.

For that, I really enjoyed the story. Thank you.

Third time reading this story and it won't be my last. Love the drama in it hehe

Specialist? It's a wonder they didn't have to use the Latrine. Try a bit harder...Semper Fi

What a wonderful story. Can't wait to read more from you.

I am in shock of how amazing it was. Please make a second part!! ❤❤❤

This was one of the best stories I have read!! Look forward to more from you!

THANK YOU!!

I loved how they got to know eachother before they went for it. I loved how heartwarming this story is. And how is showed them falling in love. Great story!

Dear Hopelessdreamer,

It's good to dream, so don't stop. And while you're at it, write them down to share with hopeless dreamers like all of us. Well done! I loved the way Jesse found a family at long last. No one should be an orphan, no one. Rare women, indeed.

Great story,

Christopher from CA

Will explode. There's nothing like getting attached to characters and see the process of their falling in love. I literally cried when I read the aftermath of their first kiss, I loved this so much, 5 stars without a doubt. Great writing, Will happily read more.

This story was ABSOLUTELY amazing. I fell in love with Jesse and Gage. He'll I even fell in love with Josh. Maybe you could write one focusing on marty with a side of Jesse and Gage

first she is just a plain Jane and not good looking enough for a wet dream

and he thinks he is too good looking for just anyone, and believes it

she had a bad relationship and was damaged emotionally

then he was in the fire

and he develops issues of his own

so now it's ok for him to like her?

bah humbug.

just let two people fall in love with each other regardless of how they look on the outside. If their relationship is based on physical appearances it will be short lived at best.

Really good story and ending!

I had a great time reading this.5 stars .Thanks for sharing.

Can you hook up Marty with the Sergeant pls?

Just superb story telling.

Would love a follow up about marty getting a guy, the sgt maybe?

The story was absolutely amazing. It's one of best I've ever found in this website. I'm a bit sad it's over but also happy I happened to stumble upon it.

Dear Hopeless, A throughly lovely story. One of the best I have ever read on Lit. Semper Fi! Thank you. John

Only one word for this story....

OORAH!

I cried in bars, bed, restaurants.Then came home to finish it and realised I was already on the last paragraph. Well written x

Really well written to make a guy tear up and CRY!!!

The love story was Great. But being ex military myself I know how a home cooked meal really does a mans moral soar !!!

The "scene" with the despondent marine who has burns but is refusing to rehab...

That couldn't happen. Being owned by the US Navy, all equipment is to be kept in good working order as it is owned by the people of the United States. The individual soldier if not mustered out due to injuries is "ordered" to rehab the machine he was prior to the "incident". I don't know of many "units" who don't pull together to get a job done, so the loneliness that is described seems a bit odd if not purposefully misrepresented in order to promote the author's wishes.

I liked the story but the only thing I wish is that Gage showed a bit more emotion at the end. Even though it was implied that he loved her, whenever she said it to him he never said back it to her. & when he gets the idea that he wants to come home to her everyday he just does an impromptu proposal? He didn't even think it out. No ring, no "let's move in together", just marriage right off the bat. Not feeling it.

Keep writing

One of the best stories ever I've read on this site. Hope you don't wait a few yrs to write another as you did between your first and this one. A couple of minor quibbles - first, as an Annapolis Man, Class of '71 & Navy Retiree with the utmost respect for the Corps, Marines are not soldiers. Soldiers are Army. Marines, male & female, remain Marines for life, Semper Fi & 'oorah!! Also, "dessert" not "desert", a common error in spelling for an end of meal treat, whereas "desert" is a typically sandy area with sparse flora & fauna in an arid climate. Minor stuff that detract little from a magnificent story. Mega kudos!

This IS such a great story, why don't you continue it, marriage and after, including teaching the big dumb Marine what romance is. You can also start a romance between Marty and Mawbry.

Semper fi

I really enjoyed the story, full stop.

Like another one of the reader I was curious about the introduction of Carrie. I also could not understand why the "dark family secret" that existed between Marty and Gage wasn't explained, maybe I missed something there.

Anyway a really good story and for me the grammatical errors didn't detract from it, I also like the fact the sex scenes were not laboured repetitively.

I loved the story and the characters. But you badly need a good proof reader. You have no sense of proper punctuation and/or grammar. Somehow, you got better toward the end, but in the 3rd section: No Marine refers to himself or his comrades as a "soldier". They are always and will always be "Marines", even when they are released from the Corps into civilian life. Take it from an old and former soldier - I know of what I speak.You did it again in Section 4.

Keep up the good story telling. I want to read more of your product.

Oh my god I can't! I just can't! I read this for the nth time and I still get feels all over! The character development and the flow of the story is just fantastic! Though some have a few grammatical and punctuation errors, the whole story is on point.

I would love to read more of this. Prolly about Sgt. Mawbry and Marty. I sense epic chemistry between the two characters that its hard not to see them ending up together.

Kudos to the writer! I love your work. Probably one of the best I read on this site. 😊

Beautiful story. Your talent for story telling is incredible. My stories aren't half as good and I still found an editor. You should to; a beautiful story, like Jesse, should be properly decked out when on a date.