I read chapters 1-3, and found your use of descriptive language had the power to draw me in and nearly actually sense everything going on in the story. You do an excellent job of painting the subject of sex so it is a beautiful and delicate thing, even when it is rough and punishing.
I'm a bit intrigued to learn the motivations and background of the characters, but once the erotica fully kicks in, I'm enthralled, and would change my stance and say that the minimalist approach to exposition works here, and the sex and exhilaration makes its way to center stage, where it steals the show.
Overall, very well done for the genre, and I found little or nothing to pull me out of the story and break my suspension of disbelief- this is believable sex, which is a tall order to put to paper.
English
keep it up!
I thoroughly enjoying watching this story unfold. The short but sweet format really works here. Anticipating more...
Looking forward to more of this.
Well Painted
I read chapters 1-3, and found your use of descriptive language had the power to draw me in and nearly actually sense everything going on in the story. You do an excellent job of painting the subject of sex so it is a beautiful and delicate thing, even when it is rough and punishing.
I'm a bit intrigued to learn the motivations and background of the characters, but once the erotica fully kicks in, I'm enthralled, and would change my stance and say that the minimalist approach to exposition works here, and the sex and exhilaration makes its way to center stage, where it steals the show.
Overall, very well done for the genre, and I found little or nothing to pull me out of the story and break my suspension of disbelief- this is believable sex, which is a tall order to put to paper.
-Chris
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